Andy Kindler: Don't Kid Yourself

Andy Kindler's Comedy Central Presents special airs tomorrow at 9p / 8c. Check out our interview with him here.  Andy will be sharing his special thoughts here for the rest of the week. For more Andy, go to his website.

How about that Pat Dixon telling people to watch my ‚ÄúComedy Central Presents‚Äù this Friday night?  That was a very generous and gracious thing for him to do.  What‚Äôs his angle?  Now I‚Äôm going to have to turn the tables, or turn back the clock, or turnabout is fair play, and insist that you watch his special.  Now who‚Äôs generous and gracious?  No one one ups me.  That last sentence was confusing.

I am my own man.  I call the shots.  Eight ball corner pocket.  I march to my own drum machine.  Nobody tells me what to do. I‚Äôm no trained puppet, although I did attend marionette school for one semester.   

Do you want my advice?  No one does, so here goes. Don‚Äôt kid yourself.
If you want to be a successful comedian, you have to get serious. No fooling around. If you want to be a clown, join the circus.  Approach it like a business. Move to a state with no tax, or perform off shore.  I advertise in the Pennysaver.  My ad reads: ‚ÄúHandyman slash comic available. No job too small or demeaning. No unreasonable offer would surprise me.‚Äù

A disciplined comic writes every day, mostly to their congress person to complain about the names of comedy clubs.  I‚Äôm always looking for jokes.  Sometimes I drive downtown to the Discount Joke Mart.  There you can get great deals on dated material. You might catch Jay Leno browsing through the Kenny G bins, or haggling over a Yanni joke. 

Sometimes getting ahead as a comic requires some detective work.  Want to discover the secret to Dane Cook's success?  Find out where he buys his hair gel.

Check this blog every day for the rest of your life or until Friday for more Andy Kindler nonsense.