Stephen unleashes pure cane Truth in this Report confection as he rakes in the buck, praises the Miss Universe pageant and attacks clones.
There's only one thing that truly unites mankind — the objectification of womankind.
Good reporting is putting press releases into your own words.
It's the first donation to the Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation!

Enticing people to register by bribing them attracts the wrong kind of voter — the poor kind.
Tags: The Colbert Report

Objectification is a good thing right? Can't find my dictionary…People graffiti-ing up money with your name is a great idea, and I need a tote bag, to carry around all my money in. I am glad they do not come in red. I do not like red so much. Blue is actually my favorite color, with a touch of green added. Stephen has got to be The Greatest Reporter of All Time. So he needs to win a bunch of emmy's!!!! Woooooooo woooo wooo