Interview: John Warner, of the McSweeney's Warners and Author of a New Book That Features Encyclopedia Brown and George W. Bush

John Warner is the author of three books–including the upcoming Encyclopedia Brown and the Mysterious Presidency of George W. Bush (excerpt)–and the editor of the McSweeney's website. For some reason, he agreed to endure some questioning from the CC Insider. Below is an electronic facsimile of the questioning process.

CC INSIDER: Encyclopedia Brown is a beloved character from all of our shared childhood memories. In fact, it hard to imagine pre-teen life without the vividly-crafted character's existence in our young imaginations. Are you expecting to be sued by Donald J. Sobol for stealing his character?

JOHN WARNER: I prefer the phrase "borrowing and messing around with" to "stealing." Do I expect to get sued? No, but I didn't expect 55 million people to re-elect the worst president of the last 100 years. I also didn't expect Snakes on a Plane to be the breakout hit of the summer or that yellow spot under my big toenail on my right foot to spread to all six of its neighbors, so I may not be the best predictor of these things.

Thankfully, the fair use guidelines for parody are firmly on my side, so I have bigger worries, that foot fungus, as just one example.

United States President George W. Bush was also the central figure in your first book, My First Presidentiary: a Scrapbook of George W. Bush (written with Kevin Guilfoile). Are you, like, a big supporter of our president or something? What exactly is it about President Bush that you love so much?

I love that he is such a rich source of material. I think political humorists were probably mourning the end of the Clinton presidency because there isn't really anywhere to go once the leader of the free world has gotten hoovered in the Oval Office, but Bush has come through with flying colors for us. I'm not sure how we could do better unless we elect Hillary Clinton and on inauguration day she declares that she really is that Anti-Christ (as conservatives expect) and we spend the next eight years with an eight-foot-tall cloven-hooved, fire spewing demon as our Chief Executive. That might be fun.

Do you think that the president will ever read your book? Or do you think that Karl Rove will have to read it to him? If Karl Rove is too busy tending to his revenge chores, who do you think is next in line for reading to the president?

(Let the record reflect that I refrained from making an easy joke about the book at least being on President Bush's reading level.) I don't know if he'll read it, but if he does, I imagine that the only reading I'll be doing will be among my Guantanamo cell mates. (CC INSIDER NOTE: Let the record reflect that we were not above making such an easy joke.)

You've been editing Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency for several years now. In that time, you've worked with many great comedians and writers including Steve Martin, Michael Ian Black, Jonathan Ames, and Stephen Elliott. You've also given valuable opportunities to countless up-and-coming writers. Do you think that makes you better than the rest of us? What's your problem anyway?

Not better, but superior in some fundamental sense sure. I know you feel it, so I won't deny it.

Your second book, the long-titled Fondling Your Muse: Infallible Advice from a Published Author to the Writerly Aspirant, is a humorous How To book for the beginning writer. However, if it were a fish, how would you prepare it and what would be the proper wine to serve alongside it?

Smelt, purchased by the thousands, fried whole and consumed completely, bone rack and all.

The wine? Bud Light.

Do you play a musical instrument?

As a matter of fact, I play several. I am the former drummer for Chicago indie rockers Quiet Kid and I have a moderate proficiency at the guitar. I also am an expert at an instrument of my own invention called the Ziepelhorne, which is tough to describe, but let me just say that it involves stretched and tanned beaver bladders.

Mr. Warner has concocted an evil plan involving the Amazon sales ranking system. You may read more about it here.