Tuesday's Headlines: Mormon is the New Black

…at least as far as bigotry goes.

According to a recent Gallup poll, more voters expressed interest in voting for a black or female Presidential candidate than a Mormon one. It's just sad that people don't take the time to understand others' religions fully before formulating opinions. Mormon Republican candidate Mitt Romney and his thousands of wives must be very upset.

Another odd finding was that almost as many people say they would vote for a homosexual candidate as for a 72-year-old. Bad news for John McCain, but great news for Dennis Kucinich!

Speaking of which, the Washington Post Reports: "McCain Comes Alive in Iowa." I didn't read the whole article, but from what I gather, John McCain terrorized a number of villagers, shambling about, moaning and eating brains, before a scantily clad woman finally blew his head off with a shotgun.

That's not gonna do him any favors in the primaries.

Global Warming may suck for just about every living thing on Earth, but it continues to do wonders for Al Gore.