Dustin Chinn
David Spade hit the junket circuit last week, hot on the heels of The Showbiz Show's return and the mid-season success of Rules of Engagement. Along the way he gave a surprisingly revealing interview to that paragon of investigative interviewing, USA Today. In Spade's Rules of Engagement (Get it? The title of the article references the title of his show! Zow!) he admitted to daddy urges and dished out some dating tips.
Say what you will, he's the greatest sub-5' 8" lothario of our generation (YOU try bedding Heather Locklear and Kristy Swanson with your mere "Axe Effect") A few pointers from the piece:
On breaking up when you know you're not that into her: "A real direct text message — not even face to face . . . Like ripping a scab off, you have to say, 'Not my type, not working,' whatever. Because it's much harder to have it fade off into oblivion by not calling back, making excuses or lying."
On keeping yourself up on young Hollywood topics to converse with younger women: "I can't even pretend to be the hip guy who knows what's going on . . . I just make fun of it. When Bob Seger came to town I said, 'It's basically Fall Out Boy,' and they're like, 'Ohhh, good!' "
You'll notice that "feathering your hair" and "consistently talking out of the side of your mouth" were not included on his tip sheet. Scram kid, Dave's working that side of the street.
By the way, you can read David's own blog posts here. We hear Spade spends a lot of time on the Interwebs.
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Just saw David at the Nugget in Reno….. David your show SUCKS! My friend that booked all our tickets got up and left he was so bored. My wife and I hung in there hoping for a laugh but never even got close. We heard a lot of complaints as everyone was leaving show. There were a few brain dead people that laughed but we all felt like idiots for going in the first place. Won't make that mistake again and our friends will be warned. PU
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A comment on my last comment:
That hand position just reminded me of my favorite Clint Eastwood movie, "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly."
In my experience, younger women prefer the barracuda. You have three zones going at once, with one hand. Be gentle with the thumb and the pinky. Make sure you get the right spot with the index finger and use the middle to support it. Is that why they put the wedding ring on the finger you don't use. I guess it could get sticky. Not like if you were married you'd be doing that anyway.