The Onion Loses Eating Competition to Free Daily Newspaper
Last night a competitive eating team from The Onion lost a heartbreaking/vomit-inducing challenge from AM New York at LVHRD*'s VMC II. We weren't cool enough to get on the list, but our spy on the scene was able to infiltrate the Lafayette Grill near NYC's Chinatown as the three-person teams consumed the equivalent of a vending machine full of snacks.
"AM New York came dressed in wifebeaters, two muscle guys, one gal. The Onion rolled in matching green Onion t-shirts ,suspenders, and newsboy caps. At first AM NY was ahead 8 bags left to The Onion's 19, but then Onion came roaring back, only to lose at the finish. They chugged water and (sponsor) dewar's all the way through. AM NY's italian muscle guy pulled off his shirt at the end. There were paramedics on hand."
Former N'Syncer Lance Bass and Jamie-Lynn "Meadow" Sigler were also present for all you starf*&ers. And that kiddies is how your favorite fake newspaper rolls.
*According to their site, LVHRD is "an organization that seeks to unite creative individuals that have a passion for change, a willingness to succeed and the determination to overcome conventions."
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