Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Transcribed

The kids at Yankee Pot Roast have the real scoop on the Kim Kardashian/Ray Jay Sex Tape. For those of you who can't watch the video, read the transcript below!

Kim: Wow! What a room!
Ray: Ha ha. Yep. Only the best for you.
Kim: Hmm … what should we do? I see you got that camera going.
Ray: How about a little Sudoku? Got Will Shortz’s new book. Sh*t’s hard.
Kim: Sounds good. [Inaudible] bow tie is [inaudible.].
Ray: NPR wouldn’t know [inaudible] if it bit it in the inskeep.
Kim: [Inaudible] security?
Ray: I don’t know, baby. I just know private accounts aren’t the answer. I read a chilling article in The Prospect about what happened in England [inaudible] that shit [inaudible].

Kim: Ray baby?

Ray: What’s up?

Kim: Ray, do you think we’re going to invade Iran?

Ray: Nah. No way Congress will let him.

Kim: They let him last time.

Ray: Sh*t’s different now, Kim. Damn, you think too much. Sudoku’s hard enough without this deep stuff.

Kim: I guess I do think a lot. Whenever my friends and I get together we always end up depressed talking about [inaudible]. Wish I didn’t care so much!

Ray: That’s just because you’re a complex woman, Kim. You’re a thinker. That’s why I’m with you.

Kim: Ray?

Ray: Yeah?

Kim: Will you please finish that 48-ounce bottle of Evian so you can p*ss on me?

Ray: Sure thing, baby. Sure thing.

Read this and other hilarity at YPR!!