Indecider

Mccaingay
Did you know that presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain was a whole-hearted supporter of gay marriage? No? Well, neither did Sen. John McCain. Luckily for Mr. Straight Talk Express, he learned about his new stance on this hot button topic in the same way so many other Americans are learning about his stances: on MySpace.

You can read the complete story here and here (and you really should), but the Reader's Digest version goes something like this…

  • John McCain fought the pressure to follow suit with all the other presidential candidates and make a MySpace page because he's like old and sh*t and probably thinks MySpace is a kind of health shake or something.
  • He finally gives in after a few weeks and tells a much younger staff member (probably a guy in his 50s who wears black socks with shorts) to make him one of those delicious MySpaces.
  • This black-sock wearing staffer barely knows how to use his computer, much less make a MySpace page, so he just steals the whole design from someone else. Images, bandwidth and all.
  • The guy from whom the design was stolen got mad that McCain and decided to switch out one of the images to read "Today I announce that I have reversed my position and come out in full support of gay marriage… particularly marriage between passionate females."
  • McCain hear's about his new pro-homo stance–his long-term suspicion that health food violates the body's supply of man molecules now confirmed–becomes comically enraged, trips and falls face first into a custard pie which is lying on the floor for some reason.
  • And… scene.
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