Kindclsz
Unless you're living blissfully under a rock or within the confines of a psycho-babble-bullsh*t-free Green Zone, you're well aware that The Secret is currently all the rage. Andy Kindler is aware too, and he's come up with his own comedy-specific version of The Secret. From his blog:

Do you want to be a world famous comedian?  Just close your eyes and
say over and over to yourself:  "I‚Äôm hilarious.  I‚Äôm hilarious."  Now
visualize yourself performing your act in front of thousands of people
in an inappropriately huge stadium. The crowd is laughing
uncontrollably and slapping their knees.  You must have just told a
knee slapper.  Now write yourself a check for ten million dollars and
stick it in your pocket.  Don‚Äôt cash it yet.  You don‚Äôt have sufficient
funds.  Then go enter a "Last Comic Standing" type contest, and wait
for the money to pour in.  If it doesn‚Äôt pour in, give up.

More Kindlertasticness here.

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