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the most logical thing to do would be to get a tattoo of Papa Bear Bill-O on the right hand.
After having a good BM the tattoo Stephen gets a brief but horrifying glimpse of the place where the real Stephens careeer is headed
Sometimes when feeling kinky they dress Stephen up with a tiny studded bracelett and latex glove. Thats when all the kinky stuff goes down.
"It was an unforeseen circumstance. Jake will forever have to rest his hand on an ottoman because even Tatoo-Colbert's brain weighs a ton."