"Now I know salami isn't 'cool.' 'Cool' people like that pretty girl from Boston Legal aren't sitting around in their yachts in Beverly Hills snacking on salami. So what? Being a celebrity myself (very famous), I know a lot of those so-called 'cool' people, and let me tell you something: a lot of them are very unhappy. Is there a correlation between their unhappiness and the lack of salami in their diets? I'm not saying yes. On the other hand, I am most decidedly not saying no."
More (lots more) M.I.B. on salami at McSweeney's
Previously: Michael Ian Black's Marriage of Convenience