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Punchline did a fun thing. They asked a bunch of standups for their New Years resolutions. They posted the results today and there are more than a few bona fide humdingers. I LOL'd at Doug Benson's:

I resolve not to believe everything I read. Because I saw a dog in a
cage that had a sign on it that said, "I bite." And I was like, that is
good to know, doggie. But you should make a sign that says, "I make
signs."

Maria Bamford's is funny too:

My New Year's resolution is to master and defeat death— and drink more water.

For the whole list, check out PunchlineMagazine.com's Comedian Resolutions '08.

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