Universal Studios Unveils Krustyland

Universal Studios Hollywood announced that impending opening of  The Simpsons Ride is nigh. We're talkin' May 17, just in time for all you college kids to finish your bong hits and hit the theme parks.

The $40 million attraction is housed in a tasty Krustyland shell, a welcome distraction for those too cheap to pony up for a speed pass. Once on board, "the six-minute motion simulator ride follows the Simpsons clan as they
are plucked from the crowd at the Krustiest Place on Earth to be the
first family to tackle the 'upsy-downsy, spins-aroundsy, teen-operated
ride thrilltacular.'"

The attraction is built on the site of the old Back to the Future ride. However, there's an animated version of Doc Brown as a tip of the hat to the former occupant, if only to cut another check for Christopher Lloyd. Work is work.

Here's a list of "attractions" you can spot while lining up for the Simpsons ride this summer:

Krustyland Rides
* Traumanator Roller Coaster
* Tooth Chipper Roller Coaster
* The Sea Captain’s Queasy Time Lagoon Adventure
* Radioactive Man – the Ride
* Captain Dinosaur’s Pirate Rip Off
* Screamatorium of Dr. Frightmarestein (starring Milhouse, Ralph and Cletus)
* Happy Little Elves in Panda Land
* Krusty’s Balloon Parade
* Death Drop
* Yard Work Simulator

Krustyland Shows
* Krusty’s Wet & Smokey Stunt Show
* The Isotop-ettes Musical Spectacular (starring twin sisters Patty and Selma)
* Sideshow Mel & Mr. Teeny’s Musical revue
* Impervo the Painless (starring Groundskeeper Willie)
* Madame Manjuala: The Future Looker-Atter (starring Apu’s wife)

We're pretty sure you can't bring your shotguns to stave off the Itchy and Scratchy robot army.