Congressional Confidential: VP Finalists
From Indecision 2008…
It's time for the ex-Senate Page's much-anticipated Running Mate Rundown! Trust us, folks: Iran isn't going to bomb itself. It takes more than bleached teeth and a Christmas card full of white kids to rightfully inherit Dick Cheney's undisclosed location.
Fortunately for the candidates, we've done all the hard work by narrowing their choices to four VP finalists apiece. We trust the nominees can pare it down from here — hopefully in the form of a reality TV show!
For Hillary Clinton:
|
Pros: Popular governor of an important swing state.
Cons: As an Ohioan, he will likely be outsourced to China well before the election. |
 Evan Bayh, senator and former governor of Indiana |
Cons: His coiffed look and folksy demeanor has been used to paint him as a "lightweight."
Pros: Rumored 14-inch penis is the talk of Washington. |
 Tom Vilsack, former governor of Iowa |
Cons: His own presidential bid generated almost no national interest, and he failed to deliver Iowa for Hillary in January.
Pros: Could crush any Republican challenger in the event of a vice-presidential corn-eating contest. |
 Barack Obama, senator from Illinois |
Pros: Extremely high-profile presidential candidate, excellent public speaker, broad appeal among liberals and moderates alike.
Cons: If elected, his "37" would be the lowest vice-presidential bowling score since Hannibal Hamlin. |
Also…
Mike Huckabee Has the VP Ying to McCain's Presidential Yang
Barack Obama Leads Hillary Clinton by 16 Discriminatory Points
John McCain Bravely Overcomes His Aversion to Lobbyists By Hiring Them
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