Patton Oswalt Is Better Than Sunscreen

I have irrational doubts as to whether Patton Oswalt really delivered this graduation speech recently at his high school alma mater. What I do know is that it's genuinely subversive, inspirational, and yes, hilarious.

If you ever have to rely on someone else's quote to set up the denouement to your commencement address, you could do a lot worse than this:

First off:  Reputation, Posterity and Cool are traps.  They‚Äôll
drain the life from your life.  Reputation, Posterity and Cool =
Fear.   

Let me put that another way.  Bob Hope once said,
“When I was twenty, I worried what everything thought of me. When I
turned forty, I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. And then I
made it to sixty, and I realized no one was ever thinking of me.”
And then he pooed his pants, but that didn’t make what he said any less
profound.

I'm not going to ruin the rest, so crank up that stupid Vitamin C song, pretend you're in a mortarboard and enjoy it for yourself.