Today's Washington Post features an interview with a former Late Show and future Late Night intern by the name of Dylan Love, in which the gofer-to-the-stars talks about his time in the talk show trenches, saying, "When these hands weren't alphabetizing the 'Late Show's' liquor
cabinet, they were making copies, getting coffee and running things
backstage at showtime."

(As a side note, alphabetical order doesn't seem like a very practical way to organize your liquor cabinet. Unless you alphabetized by liquor type rather than brand, in which case… but I digress.)

Mr. Love doesn't go into a lot of detail about his duties; however, through our exclusive contacts in "the business," we were able to obtain this top-secret relevant list, stolen directly from a certain home office in a certain whimsically named Midwestern town:

The Top Ten Seven Things to Remember as a Late Show Intern

7. Do not tell Dave about the time you played "Will it Float?" in the men's room.

6. Everything you hear about the vengeful ghost of Larry "Bud" Melman is true.

5. Do not ask Alan Kalter if "the carpet matches the drapes."

4. A generous tip for Lou in security will ensure that your side business of collecting stray hairs and used personal care products from the green room and selling them on the internet will be "our little secret."

3. Do not try to sneak your jokes about cancelled sci-fi cable series into the monologue. (Unless they're about Babylon 5. Dave loves Babylon 5!)

2. Do not ask Paul Shaffer if you can sit in on bongos.

1. Two words: "CLOTHES OPTIONAL"

Link via Dead Frog.