Martha Stewart: Comedian?

According to The New York Times, Martha Stewart will enter the world of comedy. Her company, Fine Living, is producing a show called Whatever, Martha! The show will run humorous commentary over old clips from the syndicated Martha Stewart Living program. Martha Stewart isn't exactly known as a barrel of laughs. It's easier imagining her eating a baby than chuckling at something genuinely funny. But to her credit, that baby would taste delicious in her famous toddler tiramisu.

[Martha Stewart] is in on this particular joke. In fact, she created it, dreaming up the premise after watching reruns of “Mystery Science Theater 3000” during a sleepless night.

Martha Stewart watches MST3K? She must have a keen sense of cult comedic irony. Or she was forced to watch it as part of her prison sentence. Either way, Alexis Stewart and Jennifer Koppelman Hutt, the co-hosts of the forthcoming "Whatever, Martha!" won't send Martha fuming anytime soon.

“They promised not to be mean, and I had to trust them,” Ms. Stewart said in an interview. “I’m not going to have a heart attack."

So, if they're not going to pull the trigger, allow me:

•Yo, Martha, I hear the only thing drier than your Herb-Rubbed Turkey is your Herb-Rubbed vagina!

•Yo, Martha, I hear your beloved pet dog, Kublai Kahn Paw Paw Chow Chow Chow died this April. What happened? Did he eat your food?!

•Yo, Martha, I hear you were in hot water for lying about the stock sales of ImClone. Was ImClone's name a reference to how you homogenized countless lonely housewives into becoming basically the exact same sexist fictional representation of the American woman? Heyooo!