7 Actors Who Should Play Bill Hicks
Yesterday it was reported that Russell Crowe might star in a biopic of the late, great stand-up Bill Hicks. Now, the last thing we want to do is make Russell Crowe angry, but I can't help but think there are some actors who might be better suited for the role. Plus, wasn't he already supposed to play Moe Howard? Two legendary dead comedians? Save some for the fish, Mr. Crowe. Anyway, here are our casting suggestions:
7. Kevin Spacey 
Pros: He's an Oscar winner and has proven his comedy chops on SNL.
Cons: Pretty much everything he's done this decade. Also, his biopic track-record consists of Beyond the Sea, though I admit it was hilarious.
6. Paul Giamatti 
Pros: He's great in everything he does, even when it's horseshit about mermaids. Definitely knows how to play a cynic.
Cons: Already played Bob Zmuda in Man on the Moon, and even Harvey Pekar is a little too Hicks-esque for this to not feel like well-worn territory for him. Not to mention John "Colonial Bill Hicks" Adams.
5. David Duchovny 
Pros: Looks the part. Turned in one of the funniest performances of the 90s as himself on Larry Sanders. His character on Californication is kind of a wannabe Bill Hicks with training wheels.
Cons: Has yet to prove himself as a heavy-hitting dramatic actor. Requisite aliens and werewolves in the movie would distract from the central story.
4. Jack Black 
Pros: Has a strong comedic background but also has dramatic chops. Heat Vision and Jack was technically already a Bill Hicks biopic.
Cons: Not sure if he can completely shed his Jack Blackiness and lose himself in the character. Though, this would be a great opportunity to try.
3. Cate Blanchett 
Pros: If she can effectively pull off both Bob Dylan and Elizabeth I, she can pull off goddamn anyone.
Cons: She's extremely pretty, which would make listening to Rant in E Minor a troubling experience for my wiener.
2. Robert Downey Jr. 
Pros: Like Hicks, has a strong familiarity with drugs. Basically, anyone from Tropic Thunder would work: Ben Stiller, Tom Cruise, Nick Nolte, that little stabby kid…
Cons: Might prevent him from having time to do Iron Man II and The Pick-Up Artist IV.
1. Phillip Seymour Hoffman 
Pros:He looks the part and could do the movie in his sleep. In fact, he's sleeping right now and playing Bill Hicks. By the time you finish reading this sentence, he'll have already won four Oscars for what Kenneth Turan called, "Holy shit! Never in my life have–[BRAIN ANEURYSM]"
Cons: Nothing. He's perfect. Game over.
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I think that you have 2 decent choices, PSH.. I could see it wouldnt be that much of a stretch to look like im, but you're dead on with PG; dude can act and all of the cons that you listed are actually pros when you are considering Bills enormously intellectual philosophies,.. Id rather see him then Crowe.. but like some have already stated before I wish they would have just left it alone,.. Bill has already stated he wanted it that way in the first place.. they shoud maybe rather do a movie of someone, a fan or close friend or family, that learned and grew from his teachings, and lived out his life the way Bill thought, rather then a biopic itself.
I'd personally fund this film (somehow) if Bill's bud's from Sacred Cow Prod's was involved…
Hoffman…
How about the studios don't make a movie about Bill Hicks? How about they leave the legend to CDs and Dvds? He said it best "No, Don't try to turn everything in to a marketing dollar!' Don't desecrate the legend that is Bill Hicks.
This is awful. Why are people saying Maynard should play Hicks? Because he based some songs off the comedy routines? That doesn't mean jack squat. MJK doesn't even look like Hicks in the least, nor do I think he has the personality of Hicks (the cocksure cynical swagger). MJK is a great musician whose philosophy tends to jive with Hicks, but dear lord don't confuse that for some mandate to play Hicks in a movie role.
The only person on this list who I think could come close is Spacey, but even that is a stretch. The person needs to be able to pull off a kind of arrogance, which Crowe probably could, but he's too much of a meathead (yes, i know he played a genius in A Beautiful Mind, but it was a lukewarm performance).
I agree with those who say they should cast a relative unknown. Nobody in Hollywood has the personality to play Hicks, nor do they have the acting skill to fake it. Besides that, if they get someone famous it will just wouldn't feel right. Having a megastar portray a relatively underground real-life comedian is just bass-ackwards.
Gary Oldman?
This was a super cooool post. I wish Cate Blanchett would star in the porno I will make tonight in my room, alone. Oh, and PSH is perfect!
Robert Downey Jr is the least offensive of that listing.
Why no mention of Eddie Izzard? He's damned funny and he CAN act, unlike a few of the names on that list.
EDDIE!!!
john malkovich
Jack Black almost always plays himself. He wouldn't be a good choice because of that. Good thing he is interesting as himself otherwise he would never be in any movies.
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