Why I Will Never Have Children
I didn't want kids until I realized that children are earth's greatest natural resource. I mean, if I ever need a kidney or a lung, they're like nature's little organ coolers. But this Funny or Die video just convinced me. I never want kids ever.
On the other hand, I feel if my kid kept growing and growing, basically becoming the Anti-Christ, I'd be mighty proud. I always wanted the world to revolve around me. If my kid accomplishes my goal, that's close enough I guess. I mean, isn't living vicariously through your children what parenting is really all about? It's settled. I want kids someday. Giant kids.
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