In celebration of Hookers and Candy Day (a.k.a. Labor Day) we will be taking a break to take part in the festivities, mainly hookers and candy. But don't worry, Matt and the rest of the gang of idiots (we're much more idiotic than Mad magazine) will be back right after bringing you the wackiest hijinks the "blogosphere" has to offer. Seriously, guys, we're gonna post the shit out of things on Tuesday.

In the meantime, let me entertain you with some interesting facts about Labor Day.

•Congress made Labor Day a federal holiday in 1894. Back then they needed an excuse to not work. How quaint.

•Every Labor Day Jerry Lewis holds his telethon for muscular dystrophy. This year, the telethon will consist of Jerry Lewis forgetting where he is and then complaining about why we never call him anymore.

•Wearing white on Labor Day has been outlawed ever since an embarrassed man sat on some chocolate ice cream during a Labor Day parade. The subsequent laughter led to the death of five parade-goers who suffocated on their own howls of joy, as well as the severe injury of a float's driver who laughed so hard he puked on his own windshield and crashed into a building.