Lily Tomlin Saves Our World One Elephant at a Time

Lily Tomlin might have been on Laugh-In, but now she's getting laughed out by evil zoo officials hell bent on torturing Jenny the elephant. Seriously, this story is as sad as my Laugh-In pun was lame.

Members of the Concerned Citizens for Jenny and Tomlin came together on
Wednesday evening in the Fondren Science building to promote awareness
of Jenny's situation and to persuade others to join in the movement to
save the elephant.

How bad is it for Jenny? Prison bad? Nope. Try terrorist prison bad.

The council did not
pay attention to [Lily Tomlin's] speech on Jenny. In fact the only thing, Tomlin
said, that got their attention was when she said, "the word zoo is
elephant speak for Guantanamo."

Aw, they think they're people! Guantanamo isn't for innocent elephants, it's for possibly innocent humans, you silly billies! What other human things are those nasty zoo people exposing poor Jenny to?

Workers have also used acepromazine for months or weeks at a time to
chemically restrain Jenny. During one single period, Jenny was drugged
for five years…

Don't the zoo officials know just how terrifying drugged elephant hallucinations can be? Trust me, they are awful!

The elephant has been videotaped moving from side to side, a documented
sign of depression… Jenny self mutilates by
pressing her tusks into her back legs and banging her head against
steel bars…

"Anything you can think or feel, Jenny can too," [Tomlin] said, noting that Jenny has been seen weeping tears.

What?! Elephants can weep tears?! Why am I still reading this?! This is the saddest thing ever! If you want to do something to save Jenny, please click on this link.