Matt Tobey
Missy Chase Lapine, the cookbook author who says that Jerry Seinfeld's wife stole her ideas, is going for lawsuit number two, reports Newsday. In a TV bit, Seinfeld said all assassins have three names, like James Earl Ray and Mark David Chapman. Ms. Lapine took this joke to heart. Personally I'm also offended by this, because the only thing you could accuse me of assassinating are Chocodiles.
In the report for the defamation claim "Lapine says she 'never felt so frightened and vulnerable' as when her
daughter came home from school 'and asked, 'Mom, what is an assassin?''
This happens to every parent at one time or another, which is why they should sit their child down and read from the classic How Assassins Are Made.
If this obviously righteous new defamation claim is somehow thrown out, Lapine can claim permanent mental damages because her daughter learned the word 'assassin', which has the word ASS in it not once, but twice.
Blog RSS Feeds
 |
 |
 |
 |
Archives
If you posted that comment one more time it would be extra funny and relevant. Thanks!
There is a reason why many famous assassins are known by three names : (e.g., Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman, James Earl Ray, etc.)
They first become known to the public shortly after they are arrested following the commission of their crimes–and that's usually from a police report. The police then release their full names to the media, including middle names, and from then on, they often become known exclusively by all three names.
No big mystery.
There is a reason why many famous assassins are known by three names : (e.g., Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman, James Earl Ray, etc.)
They first become known to the public shortly after they are arrested following the commission of their crimes–and that's usually from a police report. The police then release their full names to the media, including middle names, and from then on, they often become known exclusively by all three names.
No big mystery.