October 30th 11:42AM by
comedy central insider
South Park: It's a Guinea Saurus Rex!
When I was a little kid, I had a pet hamster. I named him Hammy, because I was so creative and great at naming pets. One day Hammy ran away, and I never saw him again. Then, when I was like 12 or 13, I was having dinner at Wendy's and my parents told me that Hammy actually drowned in our sump-pump, because hamsters don't actually run away, they just drown in sump-pumps when shitty kids leave the cage open. What I'm trying to say is, when giant guinea pigs (which are pretty much just obese hamsters) come and brutally kill me one day, I'll kind of have it coming.
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