Gonzalo Cordova
Disney recently purchased a family comedy spec script that will no doubt irritate parents watching the film to appease their insolent little brats.
Kevin Kopelow wrote the perennial holiday favorite Good Burger (every day I watch Good Burger is a holiday in my book). In addition to working with Kopelow on Keenan and Kel, Heath Seifert wrote for All That. Their resumes are basically my childhood.
Also, people wrote that stuff? As a kid watching Nick, I always assumed Keenan and Kel was a documentary about the effects of brain damage as a result from Whip Its addiction. Is orange soda even real or was that a lie too?
Why are road movies the only place where airplane travel hasn't been invented? Who travels cross-country to their wedding? Gypsies? Is this movie about gypsies? I have so many questions and this Variety article only answers like seven of them.
More importantly, who do you think could play the title role of the world's most annoying man? There are so many great choices, but I think I've narrowed the top four.
After the jump, my suggestions for who could play the title lead in The World's Most Annoying Man.
By agreeing to film a script called The World's Most Annoying Man, Disney has opened the doors. Never before has Hollywood allowed annoying lead characters. Now that Disney has made annoying cool, it's time to anoint one very special annoying person (or thing) as the new star of it's upcoming film. Obviously the film will costar Ice Cube as the hapless everyman just trying to get to his wedding on time, but here are my suggestions for the title character:
1. Sean "Diddy" Combs
Ice Cube and Diddy would have such great chemistry as our two leads. Especially when Diddy starts being Diddy, the world's most annoying man. Allow me to paint a possible scene:
Ice Cube drives along the desert when suddenly, the car breaks down. Ice-Cube turns to his brother, Sean "Diddy" Combs.
Diddy spins around in circles, looking down at his MacBook Pro, repeating, "Diddy Blog! Diddy Blog! Diddy Blog!"
"Yo, bro, come give me a hand! We're late for my wedding!" Ice Cube would yell.
Diddy ignores Ice Cube. He ducks under a blanket. Holding a flashlight to his face, Diddy whispers into his computer's microphone, "Sarah Palin. She scares me."
Ice Cube would stare at him and ask, "Didn't you used to make music?"
Diddy would retort, "Didn't you?"
HILARIOUS! Seriously, Disney, a quick rewrite and your script will surely fit all our Diddy needs. You could even have a cross-over with your theme parks. A special Diddsney ride maybe?
2. A Yapping Dog
In fact, the dog would probably just yap throughout the entire movie. You wouldn't even have to train it. You'd just have to find some annoying socialite's dog and let it do what it does best, yap away. Add a CGI iguana with a Mexican accent and it'll make boffo box office guaranteed!
Just be sure to keep extra dogs on set, because I'm pretty sure Ice Cube will become so enraged by the constant noise, more than a few dogs will end up missing and presumed dead.
3. The entire cast of Cirque De Soleil
You know how I just asked "What's more annoying than yapping dogs?" Well, I just answered my own question. Cirqu De Soleil is more annoying than yapping dogs. So many colors! So much misplaced creepy whimsy! So many gay guys flying around! I didn't even know gay people could fly.
At first, Ice Cube will not understand his brother, aka the entire cast of Cirque De Soleil, but over the course of the film, they will bond and look back at their crazy adventure with fondness. But they will agree never to talk about that one night they drank all that absinthe and performed some horizontal acrobatics.
4. Katy Perry
Nope. Nevermind. Too annoying.
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