George W. Bush Hails Environmental Hero George W. Bush
From Indecision 2008…
Hey everybody, happy April Fool's Day. Here's a little prank, courtesy of Fox News, to get us started on this festive day of tomfoolery…
President Bush felt the warm embrace of
environmentalists Tuesday as he announced the largest marine
conservation effort in history — the designation of three remote
Pacific island chains as national monuments.
Some went so far as to compare Bush to Teddy Roosevelt, who created the national park system a century ago.
"This administration has done more for the environment and
addressing climate change than any other in history," Kristen Hellmer,
a spokeswoman for the Executive Office of the President Council on
Environmental Quality, said in a written statement.
Whoops, that's right, it's not April Fool's Day at all. I almost had me convinced there for a minute!
Well anyway, here is the unfooling truth: After eight years of
wanton disregard for the environment, President Bush just decided not
to sell/drill/dump crap in three far-flung chunks of the Pacific,
because there is only so much destruction one man can stomach before he
retires, and for this lofty accomplishment his own office was inspired
to choke out a whale-sized whopper in the form of a "written statement."
And I am willing to bet you three dozen coconuts that statement was
written on the dried skin of a baby sea otter, using a mixture of eagle
blood and oil for ink.
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