March 5th 11:17AM
Stephen Colbert: Scientology's New Galactic Overlord
As a godless liberal, I reject all spirituality in favor of the cold cynical emptiness of secularism. And, don't get me wrong, it feels great. But being a godless liberal, I'm also a devout follower of Stephen Colbert. So when Stephen became the supreme leader of Scientology last night, you can imagine it left me pretty conflicted. I'm going to have to go get a government-subsidized gay abortion and think this through.
Be sure to vote for "Colbert" as the name of NASA's Node 3.
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Master, I hear and Obey! If the lesser lords of NASA do not YIELD to THY WILL, I fear this lowly rock may be turned INTO A CINDER…
Stephen Colbert, this is Xenu. Having recently escaped my mountain prison in a maneuver worthy of McGyver. You see, I had to wait until a certain bit of technology was invented by you man-animals so I could override the eternal batteries fueling my prison's security system. It has taken you monkeys a very long time to get up to Marcabian speed, congrats on finally making it.
I am out, yet still marshalling my forces. If you think for one nanofrink that I am going to allow an upstart media popinjay usurp my position as Supreme Roolah, you are sadly mistaken.
Xenu never forgives.
He never forgets.
You might want to keep that in mind, Stephen Colbert.
Galactic Overlords don't get that job by being nice guys.
I love Stephen Colbert, but in all honesty I do not understand why Scientology is so ridiculed. When you look at all the religion out there it all sounds pretty nutty for those who do not believe in it. In all every religion has its pros and cons, and all have been ridiculed by others.
Every religion is different. They all can be considered wired. I came across this YouTube channel. In all it seems like Scientology is not as far fitch as any-other religion. Link – http://www.youtube.com/ChurchofScientology
I guess at the end, every religion talks about treating each other with respect.
A talking snake and a virgin mother would sound strange to a person who is of a different religion.
Hahaha!! Politics and Religion go hand and hand in most cases. Look at the American dollar bill. "In God We Trust", not in "Allah we trust" or "Buddha Bless". I wonder why?
I love you tephen Colbert!!
Oh, Chrys. It's a crock because it's a religion cooked up by a science fiction author as a tax shelter, which requires members to pay money to reach higher stages of enlightenment, and because it weirdly blends flowerchild self-help mantras with a deadly hatred of mental health professionals (including talk therapists).
And you've managed to "come across" Scientology's highly controversial YouTube propaganda channel. As with any research, that gotten directly from the subject should be regarded skeptically.
That said, Hail Colbert! Had NASA gotten his name up in orbit earlier, we wouldn't all be freaking about the near-earth asteriod event last week. The Colbert Ego Buffer would have kept us safe.