I thought I had pretty good opinions. I mean, I sometimes spend minutes just sitting down thinking. Of course, I'm usually pooping at the same time.

But then Patton Oswalt steps up and proves he has better opinions about things than I do. The man must sit on the toilet thinking even when he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. That's how good he is at thinking about things. Here's what he thinks about Watchmen…

…THE WATCHMEN was going to get made, one way or another. And instead of bleating on his Facebook status updates… [Zack Snyder] TOOK THE BULLET and tried to do it right. Yes, THE WATCHMEN should be a limited series on HBO… IT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN THAT WAY… so everyone please crack the tab on a frosty can of Go Fuck Yourself and go see the movie version of THE WATCHMEN.

Whatever my opinion was on Watchmen, it must have been bad. Patton Oswalt's opinion is so good, I forgot my original thoughts on it anyhow. Here's a quick mash-up of Patton Oswalt's opinions on TV:

Television, these last few years, has moved light years beyond movies in terms of characterization, narrative, and audacity… [Burn Notice] has become an ongoing pulp epic, with new, stinging layers peeled back at the end of every season…

If you've never seen a single episode of the [Battlestar Galactica] you need to break your femur, get laid up in a hospital for eight weeks, and watch the entire run on either iTunes or DVD…

On network TV, the best hour-long drama, hands down, is FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS… where the fuck were you when Joss Whedon's terrific new series DOLLHOUSE premiered… BREAKING BAD is compromised villains who create their own false good, played out in a forest of food clubs, strip malls and bland, sinister architecture. A must-see… And you MUST see DELOCATED, every Thursday night on Adult Swim…

…Start watching EASTBOUND AND DOWN on HBO. I know the early episodes were dark and brutal, but that's the point. Jody Hill, Danny McBride and Ben Best — the brains behind THE FOOTFIST WAY, have created a comedic, low-rent version of NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN…

Uh-oh. All of our DVRs just exploded. Also all of our computers exploded because we all got schooled on how to write entertaining blog rants.

This is Patton Oswalt's internet, we're just doing our online banking in it.

[via AV Club and Videogum]