On last night's Daily Show, John Oliver interviewed a scientist who believes humans evolved from orangutans and another scientist who thinks that's totally crazy, because obviously we evolved from chimpanzees. Nerd fight!

See, this is why I prefer faith to science. I believe all humans grew from the hairs in Burt Reynolds' mustache shortly after all of existence began ten minutes ago. I know it in my heart, so there's no need to debate it, which leaves me plenty of time to fill my pants with marmalade as a gesture of devotion to the invisible Frankensteins that live in my dishwasher.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.