There have been so many evil little kid movies over the years, the last one being Orphan, which apparently didn't do too well at the box office. It only made forty-seven million dollars instead of fifty-three million dollars! Total failure, that movie! If the The Onion had created the film, it would have been so scary everyone would have surrendered all their money and thrown them a parade for being so good at scaring people. Total success, The Onion! This video more than proves my point…


Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

Wow, that was so creeeeeepy! It makes The Good Son look more like The Not-Scary-At-All Son. Village of The Damned? More like Village of The Down Pillows. Okay, I'm done…

Children of the Corny! (Sorry!)