posted by: Matt Tobey

cc_sports_small6

Canada is sneaky. That's a fact. They sit up there quietly minding their own business, almost never even bombing the shit out of any third-world countries. Half the time I mistake them for Minnesota's big backyard. But that's just what they want. After all, if we forget they exist, we'll never suspect them of sabotaging our speedskaters.



Click here to donate to the US Speedskating team.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Comments (5)

Posted by Michael W on November 9, 2009 at 1:33 pm

I am a real fan and do not miss a single program. Mostly the accuracy of political comments by Mr. Colbert are fair and well researched. Obviously this has not happened in the issue of ice time for the American speed skating team.
The facts are that the ISU (International Skating Union) sets the amount of time that international speed skating teams get to practice on any new Olympic speed skating oval. This is in fact the case for the Vancouver Winter Olympics. The USA team – and all other international teams have time scheduled on the oval ice on a regular schedule as mandated by the ISU. In fact there has been plenty of occasiions when international time has been scheduled and no team – including the USA speed skating team – has bothered to show up.
Now, I know how much fun it is for Americans to mock Canadians and Canada – and Lord knows everyone needs a little mocking from time to time – but at least you could have a passing knowledge of what you are mocking. Like say a command of the facts for instance.
I am confident that this was a unique error on Mr. Colbert's part and considering the facts of the case that he will issue a retraction and clarification on the next program.

Cheers


Posted by NickWolaver on November 6, 2009 at 9:50 pm

The brilliant speedskating saga of Stephen Colbert continues. For commentary about this segment, or the Olympics, visit http://olympicringsandotherthings.blogpot.com


Posted by kris on November 6, 2009 at 7:19 pm

i see this is another sad story about canada well shit if your gonna live in a crappy country you got to be use to a crappy life. 11 months of winter and 3 weeks of summer ice shacks and toothless bar fighting bitches who wear the pants in the family. sounds like i could give a rats ass about canada or the problems of the frigid ass country. hey canada kiss my fat american ass ps tell your ugly pale white women to stop making porn im ready to hurl if i see another overly white bitch on film.


Posted by joseph on November 6, 2009 at 2:16 pm

i am Canadian and i apologize to the speed skaters for our governments decision to not let them skate around our hemmoroidinal ovals, you see because of the lower American dollar we have forced tocut back on things. It seems that the US has been buying oil from our polluting tars sands and siphoning off our fresh water with undervalued greenbucks and draining our hydro electric power with less valued dollars. These cutbacks have caused us to turn down the thermostat on the ice to pay for our socialist everyone is medically covered and our no one goes hungry or without shelter liberal narrowmindedness. So we are going to stop feeding the homeless and continue to club baby seals and feed them with the meat and cloth them with those cute baby seal skins. Also we have laid off the rink maintenance crews, so if you have some politicians who seem to being nothing perhaps you can send them up to our rinks and they can use the Zamboni on our ovals, We have a name for them Assteroids. Also we are implementing our "turn of the lights" program, maybe you could join us, We call it Flick off. So in my polite Fundamentally Canadian Way I hope you all FLICK OFF… not really our brothers and sisters come up and bring your blades. .j.


Posted by corinne on November 6, 2009 at 12:11 pm

i've been called an icehole…oops i did it again…
darn werd prob….
anyway….so
ok so those tight well peeps…on the right, Od=divine
right side of God??
os =sinister left
aha moment~~~~~~~"
just an interesting "theory"
that werd is ok 4 scientists…so scrap "conspiracy" makes ya sound nutty=acorn~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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