Comments on: Canadian Iceholes Strike Back at Colbert

By: Fukk Of Vanoc

Fukk Of Vanoc — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 02:31:03 +0000

Jesus you canadians sure are a bunch of dumb fukks

By: MeghanStrain

MeghanStrain — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:48:40 +0000

Not all of us north of the border are "iceholes"… Hear what some of the "syrup-suckers" have to say:

"Dear Stephen Colbert, Head of Colbert Nation, Patron and Member of the US Speed-skating Team, and Esteemed Guest for the 2010 Winter Olympics,

You call us “syrup-suckers,” you call us “ice-holes.” Mr. Colbert, the mistake would be to assume the two are one and the same! We “syrup-suckers” at the small but fierce Vancouver Observer think there are a few things you need to know about the “ice-holes” you’ll be encountering as soon as you speed-skate across our perilous borders in your adorable spandex suit….."

Read the rest at:
http://www.vancouverobserver.com/politics/2009/12/08/dear-stephen-colbert-canadas-syrup-suckers-have-your-back

By: Mr Reasonable

Mr Reasonable — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:39:02 +0000

really people, the man is an entertainer. It's all bluster and frankly, good tv.

By: The Vancouver Observer

The Vancouver Observer — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 19:01:00 +0000

December 8, 2009. Vancouver.

Dear Stephen Colbert, Head of Colbert Nation, Patron and Member of the US Speed-skating Team, and Esteemed Guest for the 2010 Winter Olympics,

That is, if you can even get past the Canadian border. Friend of Your Show Amy Goodman was almost sent back to the States by the armed “ice-holes” interrogating her at the border last week. The only reason Goodman could join her “syrup-sucker” hosts at the Vancouver Public Library was because she promised not to speak about the Olympics. Are you planning to speak about the Olympics in Vancouver, Stephen?

We hope you are, and we know you won’t be making promises at the border you’re not planning to keep. Being the brave man that you are — a man with athletic inclinations — perhaps you will decide to make a break for it, zipping past the border guards into our tantalizing lands. Don’t do it, Stephen! Canada may be known for its fuzzy beavers and foie-gras poutine, but our very own Vancouver border “ice-holes” taser people to death. We “syrup-suckers” just want to say “sorry,” and “be careful, eh?”

But let’s say you do make it into Canada, and really, really want to speak about the Olympics. Chances are you will be directed to the nearest Free Speech Zone, where you’ll be pleased to know our Vancouver 2010 Integrated Security Unit (VISU) will be able to observe every angle of your boyish good-looks from the 100 closed-circuit cameras they’ve installed downtown. There are easily 100 angles from which you can be viewed, right, Stephen?

A number of our friendly local homeless people have already been removed from the premises, so you’ll be able to speak loudly, clearly, and entirely uninterrupted. That is, unless the VISU doesn’t like what you’re saying, in which case they likely will drown you out with their state-of-the-art Long-Range Acoustic Device, capable of emitting high-decibel tones to the range of 300 meters, which they recently purchased in October 2009, second-hand. Even if you do end up in trouble with the powers-that-be, it won’t really matter: our courts won't consider criminal trials during the Olympics. Those “ice-holes” won’t want to charge you with anything.

After receiving this friendly missive, you may well and wisely decide to leave the speaking gig alone, and embrace your new calling as a member of the US Olympic Speed-skating Team. We understand it’s a fresh skill for you, and all that ice can be slippery, but worry not in the case of injuries. A number of beds in our hospitals will be off-limit to pesky locals during the Olympics, so you and your entire team can really stretch out comfortably in our exclusive, empty Olympics’ wards. Really, we insist. All we ask is that you don’t go spreading the word back home in the United States about our accessible, high quality and practically free health-care. It’s best we kept that to ourselves, don’t you think?

Stephen, what we’re trying to say is fear not the “ice-holes” that might block your way here, nor those aggressive Canadians who have been expressing mild outrage at your “Don’t Be an Ice-Hole” Campaign recently. With a bit of friendly guidance from your local “syrup-suckers,” you’ll maneuver to safety as easily as a can of Molson reaches a Canucks fan’s lips. Please let us know when you’ll be arriving, and we’d be happy to send a welcoming party of gentle Canadians in fluffy mukluks and toques. We will sweeten your arrival like maple-glaze on a cedar-planked salmon. After all, your Canadian great-great grandparents James Quinn and Mary Skelton wouldn’t have had it any other way. We’re looking forward to welcoming you home soon, son.

From your friends at the Vancouver Observer, who brought Colbert Report the “Nailed ‘Em!” Andrew Feldmar story.

http://www.vancouverobserver.com

By: IN THE KNOW

IN THE KNOW — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 08:04:32 +0000

REMEMBER LAKE PLACID? Nope, Stephen, that would take knowledge and research of which here you have applied neither. What is it that they call payback? Us Canadian's are nice, but we also have long memories. Eventually payback does happen.

By: Peterborough Dan

Peterborough Dan — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:12:05 +0000

Buddy Steve, Where is the love you used to have for the True North, Strong and Free.
I think this all started when we Canadians took away your beloved World Series twice ( Back To Back ) with mostly American players on a Canadian team, and you took our beloved Stanley Cup south of the border with mostly Canadian players.on a few American Teams.
This name calling creates conflict where none is needed.
Now to call us Canadian Syrup Sucking Iceholes ( ouch ) is not very Star Spangled Banner like. I for one am ashamed at you Stephan and really hope when you get to visit our fine west and enjoy some of our Beaver ( tails that is ) and Saskatchewan Sealskin Soup and meet the fine people of Vancouver that you may come away with your own Canadian Syrup sucking Icehole moment or memory. Meanwhile How is Saginaw doing lately

By: Melrich

Melrich — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 16:53:54 +0000

So much hate over a sport no one cares about. Really how many people give a shit about speed skating. Hockey is the main event. If you want to cause some real shit start trash talking Canadian hockey.

By: Kurt Langdon

Kurt Langdon — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 03:11:32 +0000

Hey there Mr. Colbert there is a brand new long track speed skating oval in Fort St John BC (thats the same province as Vancouver BC) you know where the 2010 Olympics will be held. The ice is just being put in this week and they are looking for sponsers and users so take advantage of this great ice surface and help out your US team god knows they need all the ice time they can get. Let me know if you get your head out of your? and I will help you and your team try and not to be left behind at the 2010 games.

By: pr

pr — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 11:54:53 +0000

I love how American's like CL don't understand that Canadian Replies to Steven Colbert are COMEDY and the they are not serious. They are in respose to a comedy show and not intened to be taken serously. Colbert's character thinks he is at war with Canada because it's ridiculous, and the replies from Canadians are just as ridiculous — therefore funny.
I love how love how some American's Like CL don't understand that they are just COMEDIC replies to a COMEDY show.

>Posted by CL on November 13, 2009 at 7:43 am.
>I love how some Canadians don't understand that this is a COMEDY >show. Colbert's character thinks he is at war with Canada because it's >ridiculous — therefore funny.
>I love how love how some Canadians don't understand that this is a >COMEDY show. Colbert's character thinks he is at war with Canada >because it's ridiculous — therefore funny.

By: Canada eh?

Canada eh? — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 05:51:08 +0000

I still say, if he wants something to go after the Vancouver Olympic Committee or IOC for it is that Downhill Ski Jumping is the only sport in the Winter Olympics that women are not allowed to compete in. These women have trained hard, in Canada, the US, and other countries and are being discriminated against because of their sex. C'mon Colbert, take on a real fight for a real cause. And for all those reading this from both countries, send letters…make this a real issue!! The information is at: http://www.wsj2010.com/

By: Willster

Willster — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 04:36:08 +0000

I may have ommited a bit of information..I believe Stephen on his last visit to his very expensive MD was advised that he did in fact have NO Hemmeroids..so in fact he was a " Perfect Icehole "……aint these forums fun…LOL

By: Jen

Jen — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 16:14:59 +0000

Come on people!! There is not one American who actually hates Canada!! Some of my best friends are Canadian!! American's love Labatts & Molson and Canadian bacon not to mention that real Maple candy! It is all in fun! American's understand that Canadians take their skating and hockey seriously! As others readers have pointed out that this 'drama' is directed at the Vancouver Olympic Organizing Committee, NOT Canadians! AND Colbert is a comic genius!! We Love Him

By: Gigi

Gigi — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 08:24:07 +0000

LOL @ all you Canadians! It's a joke! None of you realize that this is satire? Wow!
Please people, this is not to be taken seriously. And for those of you that keep bringing up the war…..grow up. This has nothing to do with that and Americans do realize the sacrifices you are making over there. This is satire, nothing more. Damn shame none of you can see that!

By: Willster

Willster — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 04:32:02 +0000

It appears the US speed skating team wants to skate on Canadian Ice..Thank you for your interest in our CLEAN hard water…we do have lots of it….

If you are serious about training on Canadian Ice..why not send the US team up to Russell, Manitoba..we do have an indoor rink I can probably get them free of charge…and just north of here we have a small lake, it's around 26 miles long..and by Sunday night should mostly be frozen, and without too much snow on it….and we would welcome the US team to come practise.

FYI we are also the home of Jon Montgomery, one of the world class athletes who will be competing for gold in Skeleton Racing at the Olympics…which is a wee bit faster than speed skating…So we do know what dedication it takes these athletes to acheive Olympic status so know your skaters will be welcomed.

Oh I forgot to mention I like you, am looking for Donations,….so you can forward any Colbert related items to me ( we will also appreciate any Tiger Woods collectables as well, you could send me/us….Can one get a Mulligan for what he did…. ) ..which we will try to "auction" them off at a a few upcoming community events….and hopefuly may be able to raise a buck or two…or should that be a buck or TOONIE….

Should the speed skating team not have the intestinal fortitude to skate on natural ice, you are more than welcome to come visit us when it is a wee bit warmer, we can take you to many world class fishing lakes, that a bunch of guys from Washington that worked for a guy, I think called Clinton, came and fished at…..So I do know Americans Love Our Water…

so look us up at http://www.russellmb.com

Have a Merry Christmas…( we don't have Happy Holidays here ) …….

Willster

By: Murray

Murray — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 04:08:03 +0000

Damn. Speed skating is the figure skating of the winter Olympics. What real man cares?

Box Lacrosse. I care aboot that.

By: KC

KC — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 03:08:02 +0000

Should have a Canadian Rebuttal. Invite Doug and Bob Mackenzie on as guests they can give the Canadian comedy side. Or at least tell SC to "take off, eh" It would make for a lively debate.

By: Gram

Gram — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:58:16 +0000

I understnad your country's problem with finding an oval of ice. They are very rare and must be requested decades in advance. I must admit that the only oval of ice in the world is in Richmond BC. No others exist. On the other hand if you were talking about a bobseld track or luge/skeleton track that is unique then that would be justified as it was in Salt Lake City. I am shicked that your figure skaters haven't complaind that they are not allowed to practice on the flat piece of ice that apparantly no one can find in the US (not America) as well.

By: Robert Eh!

Robert Eh! — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:10:15 +0000

It sounds like you have a lack of your boys and girls abilities to win so you fling your intellectual feces to create an illuison of false realities to help better your chances of loosing. When did sports become like war? The only difference is its with words. You make so many comments about us canadians, just remember the blood our boys and girls shed in war zones is red like yours. I guess when it comes down to it, we canadiens don't speak jack ass!

By: Shaun

Shaun — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:50:05 +0000

Well not much to say except you have lost alot of viewers due to your rants. As for us being iceholes…..lol…you need to give your head a shake….if your lucky we'll pull your country out of the recession with us because god knows you guys can't. I applaud your sponsorship but thats it. As for my perception of you, i thought you used to be a good journalist, reporter, or what ever you call yourself….but know i see you as one step away from hosting a cheap Jerry Springer knock off…..at least you would get some viewers. But in my case all youve done is ensure you have one less……and im sure some of your canadian relatives might even take that one step further. Good Luck and hopefully Jerry will retire sooner so you can cover what your actually good at!

By: Shana

Shana — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:45:03 +0000

Do people not realize that Stephen Colbert is playing a character? Anyone who gives his show a second of their time can tell that he is a satirist. It should not be hard to grasp that this is another bit. Taking things this personally and starting a "war" is just silly.