This year, I wanted to get you the traditional Twelve Days of Christmas gifts, but I ran into a little trouble. It turns out it's not yet technologically possible to transmit French hens and leaping lords electronically via blog. Get on it, science! Bottom line, I had to go with plan-B, which is a collection of twelve Christmas-themed stand-up clips. You wouldn't even know how to cook turtle doves anyway.

Jim Gaffigan



Demetri Martin



Patton Oswalt

Jon Lajoie



Lewis-Black



Anthony Jeselnik



Laura Kightlinger



Louis CK



Marc Maron



Juston McKinney



Richard Lewis



Lizz Winstead