This week, Apple is expected to release a tablet computer, probably called the iSlate. Details are scarce, but from what I understand, it will be like a laptop only far less ergonomically optimized for masturbating to porn. Just as Moore's Law predicted. But who am I to question Steve Jobs, a man who could easily have me bought and sold for twice the price, with a sleeker veneer and revolutionary user-interface. So, in celebration of the new computer I guess we're all going to buy, here are the best Apple-related bits from The Colbert Report.

Americans Sacrifice Their iPods

The collection continues below.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

1997 Flashback

Tip/Wag: Apple Computers

Threatdown: Killer iPhones

Tip/Wag: Science and Technology

God Machine

March to Enslavement: Stephen Gets an iPhone

New Giant iPhone

Steve Wozniak

Green Screen Challenge: iPod + Colbert