This Friday marks the premieres of Comedy Central Presents Eliot Chang and Comedy Central Presents Mike DeStefano. Yesterday we introduced you to Eliot Chang, so today it's Mike DeStefano's turn to fill in some blanks. You can also find some clips from the show after the jump.

Word of advice…
…never pet a burning dog.

I'm not hilarious when…
…I catch my penis in my zipper.

It's inappropriate to…
…shoot prostitutes with a crossbow.

A memoir by you…
…I cant believe I'm not a serial killer.

My extreme energy drink would be called…
…wake up fuckface!

How would you like the world to end?
Heroin overdose.

Comedy Central Presents Mike DeStefano premieres tomorrow night at 11:30pm / 10:30c.