You know how you're always yelling and screaming about how adorable little girls giving away lemonade on the side of the road is the embodiment of everything that is evil and morally-corrupt about liberal America?

Well, Chicago Sun-Times columnist Terry Savage knows exactly where you're coming from…

Last week, I was in a car with my brother and his fiancee, driving through their upscale neighborhood on a hot summer day. At the corner, we all noticed three little girls sitting at a homemade lemonade stand…

The three young girls… explained that they had regular lemonade, raspberry lemonade, and small chocolate candy bars. Then my brother asked how much each item cost. "Oh, no," they replied in unison, "they're all free!"…

I pushed the button to roll down the window and stuck my head out to set them straight. "You must charge something for the lemonade," I explained. "That's the whole point of a lemonade stand. You figure out your costs — how much the lemonade costs, and the cups — and then you charge a little more than what it costs you, so you can make money. Then you can buy more stuff, and make more lemonade, and sell it and make more money."…

No wonder America is getting it all wrong when it comes to government, and taxes, and policy. We all act as if the "lemonade" or benefits we're "giving away" is free.

Reminds me of these motherfucking kids down the street from me who were putting on a play about a squirrel who loses his nuts in their back yard a few weeks back. It's a good premise, right? It's got conflict, and i feel like it might have something meaningful to say about modern man in post-feminist America.

But, no. It's this poorly sketched-out vapid drivel that barely even scratches the surface of the sub-context. From the first second that this little boy in a brown sweater (nice costume, right?) comes out crying, I fucking knew he was gonna find his nuts by the end. And I don't even think they bothered to learn their lines, if there even were lines written in advance. It was fucking embarrassing. And I told them as much after the show, just before demanding my nickel back. I feel like they owed me a nickel.

I'll tell you, I share Terry Savage's concern about America left in the hands of these burgeoning generations.