I went to college. It wasn't the greatest college, but it was a college nonetheless, and it cost money. And yet, for all that money, in all the years I attended, I never heard anything as wise as, "You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to." Which is especially surprising when you consider I was a Fart History major. Proof yet again that we'd all be better off skipping higher education and studying the work of Louis CK instead.

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