What do aliens, cats and auto-fellatio have in common? They're all reasons cited in the Kardashian divorce? Close. They all give me hives? Warmer, but the correct answer is they're all featured in our collection of the best moments from the second season of Nick Swardson's Pretend Time.

Alien Paternity Test: Uncensored
Aliens getting women pregnant out of wedlock? It's like this sketch was pulled directly from Michele Bachmann's nightmares.

Save the Fat Americans
Overweight Americans are one of the country's fastest growing minorities. Get it? Growing? Because they're increasing in numbers.

Cat vs. Leg: Uncensored
Nick recounts what may or may not be the first attack in the coming feline uprising.

Cinnabon & Day Drinking
Who gets drunk at noon? So uncouth. Everyone knows midday is for black tar heroin.

Suck Your Own Dick Abs: Uncensored
Would you buy an exercise product that could help you suck your own dick? Figure out a way to cut out the exercise part, and you've got a deal!