(Ed: We think that's Dan on the left.)

I can tell you how many carbon atoms are in a buckminsterfullerene¹

I know where to find mynocks² and what they need to sustain life

I was a bus boy at The Magic Time Machine dressed as the Jolly Green Giant®

My hair style was a jazzy mullet³.

I was a clown for a year in high school, and thought girls loved jugglers

I felt and still feel extremely comfortable with these terms: dopplegänger, infravision, bag of holding, lycanthropes, roll for initiative, 18/00 Strength, etc…

I scribed a personalized poem for every girl I was smitten by

The circumference of my quadriceps have never exceeded fourteen inches.

I could not dance, and have been recently diagnosed with dysrythmia

I thought math was sexy

¹60 carbon atoms
² Hyperspace; Stellar radiation
³Imagine Flock of Seagulls, but somehow even more gay

(Tomorrow from Dan Allen: 'These are the Days of Our Lies'.)