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The Fastest Way To Uncool

August 9, 2006 AT 04:30PM | Comments (19)

You know the way to not look cool? Like, the number one way? Like, there's no one, nowhere that could ever pull this off. No one. It's called the Chapman Stick. It was invented to keep hippies and Jazz majors celibate. It makes a perfect gift to anyone who you'd like to sterilize. And there's a whole website full of pictures of people making my point for me.

You're welcome.

Stick_advert

Thanks Mark and Will

Recent Comments

Nick Beggs was that guy, all crazy and eccentric with the sparkly scarves and dramatic mannerisms who had absolutetly zero talent and had to invent something pathetic so he could think he was talented...really, I think there needs to be some sort of system, like the fda only for instruments or something set up to avoid these things...come on, the art and music world has enough stigma and real talented weirdos without fake ones making it even worse. What could be worse than an untalented, pathetic artist wannabe trying to impersonate and pretend to be a stigmatized, strange actually talented artist outcast?

Posted by Denise K | Aug 9, 2006 6:37:21 PM

At the opposite end of uncoolness:

http://www.koreus.com/media/double-guitar.html

Posted by Phil Moskowitz | Aug 10, 2006 4:17:04 PM

Chapman Stick dudes > Mencia

Posted by Steve Vai | Aug 10, 2006 6:59:56 PM

I know what could be worse. an uninformed know-nothing that uses a comedy site as a
way to snipe at talented musicians.
Otherwise, you'd know that the highly expressive instrument in the hands of a master like Tony Levin(Peter gabriel,King Crimson jpeg 1), was invented by Emmett Chapman, not Nick Beggs.
Judging by your ignorance,You probably couldn't play a radio, but how about you buy a Stick, let us know how that goes.

Kirk

Posted by kirk | Sep 20, 2006 8:54:23 PM

Looks gay to me!!!!!!

Posted by stick it up yo ass | Sep 21, 2006 1:15:50 AM

Gee, I play the stick, and I've had sex like 4 times this week ... so much for the celebacy thing.

Posted by Randy | Sep 21, 2006 8:25:54 AM

A little grammar lesson wouldn't hurt...

Posted by mediaguru | Oct 12, 2006 10:59:33 AM

gay!

Posted by hahaha | Nov 1, 2006 6:32:10 PM

second on that gay comment!

Posted by hilarious | Nov 1, 2006 6:33:09 PM

You guys rock. x

Posted by Nick Beggs | Apr 12, 2007 4:21:58 PM

Bunch of bold statements from untalented, opinionated, moronic, no-talent, ass clowns.

Please tell us....what is your great contribution to art? Being a hack comic? Who just might get a spot on VH-1's Best week ever? Where you can critique WORKING/PAID celebrities material and lifestyles?!

Comedy is more than just being an opinionated smart ass! Perhaps you should work on your comedy routine! The way some REAL artists explore new ground on a new instrument.

What do you know? Go smoke another joint or do another line and tell yourselves in the mirror that your funny! Stupid Ass!

Posted by Adrianrulz | Apr 20, 2007 2:39:42 AM

Nick...I love you!

Posted by Yeliel | May 9, 2007 4:17:34 PM

You ROCK!!!

Posted by Yeliel | May 9, 2007 4:18:53 PM

Nick...I love you!!!

Posted by Yeliel | May 9, 2007 4:20:18 PM

Landru guide us!

Posted by booboo | Jun 8, 2007 4:02:28 PM

to master the chapmanstick you must learn to speak klingon...

then the castration...

Posted by booboo's sist'a in law's baby cousin | Jun 8, 2007 4:14:01 PM

Nick Beggs is one of the most talented musicians I've ever had the pleasure to listen to. The chapman stick is one of the most complicated instruments to master, and he has done it. I stumbled on this site whilst searching info on Nick, and am stunned that the site is called comedy central.

Denise, whoever you are, try picking up the instument and then call him un-talented. You are clearly a very sad person, who has to belittle other people to make yourself feel better. Nick Beggs has more talent in his little finger than you clearly have in your entire body. Who are you Denise, what have you achieved???? Have you had a number one single? Have you played venues all over the world? Have you been invited by John Paul Jones of Led Zepplin to tour the world? NO!!!!!! then shut the F*CK UP!!!!!!!!

Posted by Mark | Jul 1, 2007 12:52:04 PM

All Pledge to Explore Uranus!
-Martian Van Gelder

Posted by Fleeb Bro | Oct 24, 2007 12:45:10 PM

Mark - I totally agree with you. Nick is an amazing musician, on the bass as well as on the Stick! Have you seen his videos on You Tube? Wow!

And Denise, you really are a sad and very ignorant person.

Posted by Eric | Mar 6, 2008 2:26:48 PM

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