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Oh, fan fiction! You live at the top of the nerd pyramid. You have special access to a VIP room of dorkness that nobody else will ever see. If geek is a planet, you are an entire galaxy. I salute you with today's post: Excerpts from the very best in Daily Show Fan Fiction.
LOTRfreak writes: Dear Stephen, in which Stephen Colbert has received a suicide note from his lover, Jon Stewart.
Best out-of-place IM shorthand: Jon signs his suicide note "-J.S. <3"
Reference to other works of fiction: Both Jon and Stephen are written as hardcore Lord of the Rings fans
Best line: "Run faster you pieces of [crap]!" he yelled to his legs.
Spacemonkey_699 writes: Something Strange This Way Comes, in which Rob Corddry discovers how his Daily Show boss takes charge of the staff, so to speak.
Best repeated typo: "Buttsex"
Reference to other works of fiction: The entire cast of Old School weighs in on Rob's dilemma
Best line: Luke Wilson was probably full of [crap]. Worse than his [!]damn crooked nose brother.
Mwah writes: To Serve Your Country, in which our heroes Jon and Stephen are called to duty by the Secretary of State. (More like called to Booty by the Sexretary of Sex!)
Best product placement: "Jon just sighed. “Did you bring the Gatorade?”"
Best line: THE SECRETARY OF STATE IS USING A DOUBLE NEGATIVE WHILE TRYING TO GET ME TO BONE HER!
Even Best-er line: Stephen suddenly grinned and Jon felt it go all the way to his toes. “Me too.” He winked again before swinging open the door. “Your boytoys have arrived!” he announced, spreading his arms wide to the darkened room before him.
Recent Comments
Loves it
Posted by Gracey-Lou Freebush | Jan 19, 2007 7:35:47 PM
So, you're quoting (without permission) and ridiculing fans of the shows. Fans of the channel. The people who make sure you get money. How very nice of you. Good grief...
Posted by Kindling | Jan 19, 2007 7:59:31 PM
Nice of them not to sue the authors though. ;)
Posted by Me | Jan 19, 2007 8:18:33 PM
To: Kindling
Yes, of course. Because citing three sentences of writing that depends entirely on a franchise not the author's own, and depicting fictitious, imagined sexual encounters between real people without permission is totally, like, against the law. And the number of fans reading said fan fiction is, of course, so massive that their every tender feeling must be taken into account.
Posted by Indis | Jan 19, 2007 8:28:28 PM
Spacemonkey's is by far the best.
Posted by a. | Jan 19, 2007 8:30:34 PM
CC Insider writes:
HAHAHA, mock the fans and their hobby, even though they're bothering nobody and only doing it for their own entertainment!
Best playground insult:
A blogger with imaginary status calling other bloggers "nerds".
Reference to other works of douchebaggery:
wonkette.com, February 17, 2005. It's sad but true, kittenpants -- you are so two years ago.
Best implied intolerance:
Homophobia is, like, totally in style right now. If it's good enough for the cast of Gray's Anatomy to bring to the Golden Globes, it's good enough for mobilized frat boy CCinsider readers to take to LJ. They don't even have to do much work -- you gave 'em the usernames and everything! Bash away, kids.
Good times!!
Posted by Slashtastic | Jan 19, 2007 8:55:44 PM
You could have at least quoted some of the better-written pieces instead of working from a pool of the first ten or so drabbles you saw. We might be slightly creepy, but some of us do it with well-formed plots and good grammar.
Posted by L.C. | Jan 19, 2007 9:11:36 PM
Wow. How pathetic are you?
Trying to elevate your own overinflated (and completely undeserved) ego by pointing and laughing in your best middle-schooler self just makes you look like an asshat.
Posted by Liz | Jan 19, 2007 9:48:53 PM
If I make fun of really bad fiction about women, does that make me a misogynist?
Posted by truth | Jan 19, 2007 10:08:46 PM
Everything in geekdom has been fic'd and slashed. Be proud! You stand alongside Star Trek, Star Wars and LOTR.
Posted by jen | Jan 19, 2007 10:53:42 PM
QUOTE: Best repeated typo: "Buttsex"
****************************
I prefer to spell it buttsecks, thank you very much.
Posted by jen | Jan 19, 2007 10:56:26 PM
Why would they want to sue the authors? Fanfic about real people is completely legal (morally ambiguous, yes, but legal). Real people, unlike imaginary characters, cannot be copyrighted.
Posted by mug | Jan 19, 2007 11:18:12 PM
For the record, I would just like to point out, as far as gay innuendos and speculation about Condi's love life go: they started it, not us.
Posted by snail | Jan 19, 2007 11:55:38 PM
So has anyone tried the Gatoraid AM? Does it taste like jizz? 'Cause all of the other flavors do.
Posted by jen | Jan 20, 2007 12:11:57 AM
I've heard of fanfic efforts for extremely complex pieces of fantasy, but comedy news? Is there really all that much missing from your life, or is LOTR just a little too far out of your range?
By the way, I just published a Cliff's Notes for Robot Chicken. You know, in case anyone's interested.
Posted by K.S. | Jan 20, 2007 1:11:31 AM
Where's the cream filling?
[No, no, really. Why bother to do a guest blog if you're going to generate a skimpy paragraph of content? Give us something to sink our little teeth into.]
Posted by Sus | Jan 20, 2007 1:17:28 AM
Wonderful crack, these fics. Oh, and Jon/Stephen started it.
Posted by Jess | Jan 20, 2007 10:15:07 AM
"I've heard of fanfic efforts for extremely complex pieces of fantasy, but comedy news? Is there really all that much missing from your life, or is LOTR just a little too far out of your range?"
Because all LOTR fanfic is deep, complex, and well-worded? And the Daily Show fanfic is not? Right.
I'm sure kittenpants' post is all in good fun, but let's not mock the slasher fans too much. They've already been outed a long time ago - and Jon and Stephen provide plenty of inspiration every week.
Posted by Tyrone Hunnibi | Jan 20, 2007 11:08:21 AM
Speaking as a geek, and proud of it (I've read the Silmarillion, I FTP from the command line, and yes, I write fanfic):
I'm sure many other people are ready to make points like "Jon and Stephen both hit on Condi the night before that last fic was posted" and "Fiction, marked as such, about real people is not illegal" (see movies such as The Queen, Marie Antoinette, and United 93, and books such as Naked Pictures of Famous People).
But I do want to point one thing out: Colbert Nation has its own official unofficial fanfiction section (http://www.colbertnation.com/cn/fanfic.php), and the official unoficial messageboard has a fanfic/art board (http://colboard.com/viewforum.php?f=9).
If that isn't subtle encouragement, I don't know what is.
Posted by SailorPtah | Jan 20, 2007 11:10:50 AM
This calls for Kittenpants/TDS Fanfic Writer fic!
Posted by Gaia Faye | Jan 20, 2007 3:07:49 PM
Did anyone actually read the post? I introduced it with "I salute you with... Excerpts from the very best in Daily Show Fan Fiction."
Salute you.
Very best.
For the record, I don't consider the word "nerd" to be a slur.
I watched O'Reilly on Colbert Thursday and something SC said reminded me of the fan fiction I had read two years ago (thanks for pointing that out, Slashtastic) and decided it needed re-introducing here, where "fans of the channel. The people who make sure [I] get money" might see it. I found it entertaining.
Anyone assuming I have an "overinflated ego" clearly hasn't seen me drink daily from my "I feel like an asshat" coffee mug.
Posted by kittenpants | Jan 20, 2007 7:40:47 PM
Slash is hilarious.
Posted by MoMo the Pirate | Jan 20, 2007 10:09:21 PM
Make sure Stephen and Jon see them!! Shove it in their memos or something, but make sure they see them. The writers over at TDS_RPS will be happy.
I really don't care what you say about their slashtastic efforts. I find it kind of funny that you should help publicize them by making fun of them. Hip and trendy... kind of like... Ste--oh, you sly dog.
Posted by Puddly | Jan 21, 2007 3:32:24 AM
1.) Fanfiction is completely legal and completely dorky, however, some of the most magnificant stories I've read (I happen to be going for my Doctorate in Literature currently, so trust me when I say I've read quite a lot) have been on this community. Mocking the first story you happened to see was a huge mistake.
2.) Composing fanfiction about both Colbert and Stewart happens to be protected by the Fair Use Rule of the United States Copyright Act of 1976 and fanfic writers aren't infringing on this act in the least; legal action against creative liscence isn't possible here.
3.) Clearly, homophobia is all the rage these days. That's because we as humans aren't meant to adapt to change, just like we haven't adapted to longer life-spans. Also, Homosexuality is wrong because sexual intercourse is intented for procreation alone, this being the case, sterile couples and old people are also to be mocked and condemned by the public as openly and jovially as possible.
Posted by Marteau_argente | Jan 21, 2007 5:20:51 AM
Enough with the homophobia straw man! A good chunk of my friends are various flavors of queer. But it's a big jump from fearing TEH GAY to thinking that it's just a mite creepy to write gay erotica about real people who are married...let alone people who are married to women.
Posted by truth | Jan 21, 2007 2:47:49 PM
"Buttsex" is a typo? I thought that was in the dictionary now.
Posted by | Jan 21, 2007 4:02:01 PM
So, The Daily Show pokes light-hearted fun at the oddballs of our society, which garners them a rabid fan-base, of which a small lot decides to turn their adoration into erotic fan-fiction about TDS personalities, then a blogger pokes light-hearted fun at those oddballs, and the same people who adore TDS so much are outraged. I think that might be irony, but I'll never be sure because I ran out of food and ate "G" through "N" out of my dictionary.
Posted by bert jenidles | Jan 21, 2007 8:25:46 PM
I see nothing wrong with this post or the subject that it is being posted about. They are both silly and cute. I also like the Will Ferrell heart, as it keeps cracking me up.
Kittenpants, I clicked on your main site. I think that kitten in the pair of pants is very adorable.
Posted by Sarah | Jan 22, 2007 3:47:32 AM
lol OMG it's Wonkette.com all over again.
I don't know rather to laugh because people find it necessary to "out" us or be extremely pissed off by the fact that you have linked these stories without the author’s permission.
Just to let you know.... this is old news, about two years old in fact. Oh and Jon and Stephen (verbal conformation for SC himself kids) know about the fan fiction. Really if they don't mind there is no reason at all anyone else should.
It's all in good fun.
*love the graphics though,
There is nothing cuter than Jon and Stephen inside little red hearts! *wink*
Posted by JessicaFaith | Jan 22, 2007 3:42:30 PM
I totally agree with all of this outrage. Internet websites have no business linking to other internet websites.
If one website links to another website, then that website is gonna link to two other website, and then those two web sites will link to four other websites, and then before you know it John Oliver is gonna put his tongue inside of Jason Jones' hoo-ha.
Where does it all end?
Posted by Slasherrific | Jan 22, 2007 5:41:30 PM
*bows*
That is all.
Posted by spacemonkey | Jan 22, 2007 8:39:58 PM
ZOMG SO ANGRY, HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF FANFICS?!?! YOU BETTER STOP OR I'LL GET REAL MAD!!1 AND YOU BETTER NOT MAKE FUN OF MY FAVE TV SHOW 'CHARMED' EITHER OR ELSE!!!1!!11
(Le sigh)
Ladies? Are a sane sense of perspective and/or the ability to laugh at oneself(*) just too much to ask for in these troubled times of ours? I mean, let's be honest here, okay? Fanfiction is a silly and ultimately pointless thing to be involved in, just like almost every other hobby from stamp collecting to playing video games to meticulously cataloging every episode of "Jake and the Fatman" on VHS. They're all just different ways to kill time until time kills you. I'm a member of the LJ group in question, and I thought the original post was hilarious. Nobody said you don't have the right to write, and no one is being homophobic -- if anyone can explain where either of those ridiculous notions sprang from, I'd certainly like to hear, er, read it because REALLY.
I guess what I'm saying is this: fanfic is just goofy fun, and getting angry at people for joking about goofy things only serves to make you look like a big goof.
(*) Mentally insert image of Jon barely tossing a baseball here (and reacting more admirably to the boos and hisses of thousands than a lot of people here are to the gentle ribbing of a single stranger on the Internet)
Posted by A Disappointed Citizen | Jan 22, 2007 11:56:04 PM
I stand by my assessment that the combination of Jon/Stephen/Condoleezza Rice is totally bangin'. For rizzle.
I salute to you all from the top of the nerd pyramid. It has a lovely view.
PS. That heart of Condi is a frightening yet oddly alluring at the same time. Quite the minx, that one.
Posted by mwah | Jan 23, 2007 10:20:35 AM
*yawn*
Read it. Wrote some. Jon & Stephen are fine, but Jon and Anderson Cooper? NOW we're getting somewhere...
Posted by | Jan 24, 2007 12:26:57 AM
LOL TDS slash is SOOOOOO 2005.
Posted by The Bitch That Created the Motherfucking Community in Question | Jan 29, 2007 1:16:25 AM
You suck. Slashers (the writers and the readers) aren't doing anything wrong. And yes, there are exceptionally bad pieces in every fandom. Trust, it is not just a pundit!slash phenomenon. Leave us alone.
Posted by Taking this way too seriously | May 13, 2008 8:49:43 PM
Jon and Stephen all the way. (Stephen tops! That's important!) Unless it's in real life. Then it's bad. :o
Mwah, yes, Jon and Anderson are a lovely couple. Well, Anderson and anyone or anyTHING is a wonderful couple, really.
Posted by Anon | Jun 25, 2008 10:45:48 PM
Oh, Kittenpants, if only you were as hip as you think you are. And your silly attempt to back out of it is almost entertaining.
"I introduced it with 'I salute you with... Excerpts from the very best in Daily Show Fan Fiction.'"
I could see the little wheels turning in your head. "WAIT! Fanfiction has followers?! I AM THUS A NERD! AND PROUD!"
No, you are an attempted hipster. And one who looks down on dorks/nerds which is even sadder. Until you try to BE a dork/nerd. Ugh.
PS: Your mom told me buttsex is spelled correctly. Please adjust your entry accordingly.
Posted by Conscientious Objector | Jul 2, 2008 7:43:03 AM
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