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Here's a picture of Senator John McCain and his right hand. Think you know what's going on between them? Leave a caption (or two or seven) in the comments section.
Here's a gallery of previous Caption Challenge winners.
Recent Comments
The Hand of God bitch slaps John McCain for the fifth time.
Posted by leith | Mar 12, 2007 5:57:11 PM
"Don't say old man breath I may smell but its been worse. The kids hate my old man breath. Just don"t say it out loud." John McCains fruity inner voice
Posted by leith | Mar 12, 2007 6:04:11 PM
At a rally supporting President Bush, Senator McCain stifles the urge to throw up in his mouth.
Posted by John | Mar 12, 2007 6:20:25 PM
What's that? I've got what on my nose?
Posted by cailiss | Mar 12, 2007 6:29:18 PM
I knew I should've pulled my pants up before scratching my a**.
Posted by Mary | Mar 12, 2007 6:35:02 PM
Stunned at the site, John McCain, muffles a cry. While trying to make some sense of what may be described as a hideously sophisticated act between President and Barbara Bush.
Posted by leith | Mar 12, 2007 6:35:58 PM
Let's see... Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and now Giuliani. That makes four people I get to have killed after I become president.
Posted by Kevin C | Mar 12, 2007 6:36:51 PM
Observers were amazed when, in an attempt to intimidate nay-sayers, Sen. McCain bit off his own thumb and held it in his cheek for the remainder of the press conference.
Posted by Mike | Mar 12, 2007 6:37:22 PM
This is the hand that touched Jon Stewart. I'm never washing it again!
Posted by PF Dover | Mar 12, 2007 6:40:04 PM
There are four things you need to know before you rip off a savings an loan.. you wanna get away with it right?
Posted by leith | Mar 12, 2007 6:44:49 PM
My memory is murky on that I count four not two not three definitely four it was the Keating Four.
Posted by leith | Mar 12, 2007 6:53:41 PM
Did I say that about Bush "out loud!""
Posted by bdaul | Mar 12, 2007 6:54:52 PM
I love my hand...it has brought me many good times!
Posted by bdaul | Mar 12, 2007 6:56:08 PM
Senator McCain realizes that no matter how vigorously he's scrubbed, Jerry Fallwell stench just doesn't wash off.
Posted by Shira P | Mar 12, 2007 6:58:59 PM
McCain finally got the Dick 'n Mary Cheney line six months later.
Posted by leith | Mar 12, 2007 7:04:54 PM
Smells like chicken!
Posted by b4real23 | Mar 12, 2007 7:05:49 PM
oops i washed off the speech when i went to the bathroom......should listen to mama and use left hand next time
Posted by saf mak | Mar 12, 2007 7:07:03 PM
Number Four .. admit you were wrong and they let you KEEP the money.
Posted by leith | Mar 12, 2007 7:26:44 PM
"You know, senator, I thought your problem was that you don't listen. But that's not it at all. Your problem is that you're a fucking jerk."
Posted by McCain | Mar 12, 2007 7:29:00 PM
OOOps
Posted by McCain | Mar 12, 2007 7:30:01 PM
Senator McCain outlined the 4 items of his not for sale. Said McCaine "I'm keeping my hair, my shoes, my beef jerky, and my war medals. Everything else is fair game." This is an update from his previous list of 5 items not for sale, as stated three years ago, which included all of the above plus moral convictions.
Posted by martylloyd | Mar 12, 2007 7:38:37 PM
"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno." OOps did I say that out loud again dang.
Posted by McCain | Mar 12, 2007 7:38:39 PM
Licking the blood from his hands after eating the hearts of his Republican competition McCain mutters "Communist pussies!"
Posted by gary lutgen | Mar 12, 2007 7:38:41 PM
Smells like teen spirit.
Posted by gary lutgen | Mar 12, 2007 7:40:54 PM
The McCain Palm Pilot Cheat Sheet. "Uhhh, the answer to the first question is....B, I am not running as a Democrat."
Posted by Kristin | Mar 12, 2007 7:48:36 PM
If I hold my hand like this, can you still see my mouth moving? I listened to Dubya's dad...when he said read my lips! Damn, I should know better than listen to a Bush!
Posted by Nancy St Germaiin | Mar 12, 2007 7:48:47 PM
John McCain seen trying to his words as he whispers to himself, "They must never know my true identity. . . . Darth Sidius!!!!!"
Posted by christian latham | Mar 12, 2007 7:54:07 PM
Senator McCain seen just before removing his face for the remainder of the evening.
Posted by christian latham | Mar 12, 2007 7:55:31 PM
I know it's hard to believe, but yes, someone did actually pay me $4.00 when I sold my integrity on Ebay back in 2003.
Posted by Jim Casey | Mar 12, 2007 8:03:22 PM
You found 4 more?!
Posted by ccmatthews | Mar 12, 2007 8:08:53 PM
"They said 'Talk to the hand', but I can't hear a damn thing!"
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 12, 2007 8:15:12 PM
"And this is EXACTLY George Bush's IQ!"
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 12, 2007 8:21:13 PM
"Security? Security? Can you tell me where I am?"
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 12, 2007 8:25:17 PM
"How's that hand signal go again for 'Live long and prosper!'?"
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 12, 2007 8:29:04 PM
Hmmm! Smells like Laura!
Posted by Hugh ONeill | Mar 12, 2007 8:34:15 PM
"How many fingers am I holding up?"
Posted by sarah | Mar 12, 2007 8:35:19 PM
"Oh crap, I forget the Spanish word for 'five'!"
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 12, 2007 8:39:11 PM
Swiftboat this, I'm running anyway.
Posted by sfranz | Mar 12, 2007 8:39:40 PM
"Let's see now, four electoral votes from Arizona. Well, that's a start!"
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 12, 2007 8:44:15 PM
"Read between the lines, Rudy!"
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 12, 2007 8:46:37 PM
well now...since Obama's ratings are so good, maybe i should smoke the dopes too...
Posted by Alicia Berggren | Mar 12, 2007 9:12:22 PM
Are you sure it's FOUR years?
Posted by Steve Veilleux | Mar 12, 2007 9:14:20 PM
Did you seriously just bite my thumb off?!?
Posted by Alicia Berggren | Mar 12, 2007 9:18:33 PM
"Hey John! What time is last call in Arizona?"
Posted by Shane | Mar 12, 2007 9:23:01 PM
"You wanna smell my new girlfriend?"
Posted by Jon Newell | Mar 12, 2007 9:25:24 PM
Smell that? I just "Mav-ripped" one...
Posted by Sick Puppy | Mar 12, 2007 9:47:42 PM
Oh My God! They killed Kenny!
Posted by Ashleigh Edwards | Mar 12, 2007 9:49:03 PM
In a bizarre effort to play up his miltary service for voters, John McCain cut off his right thumb and tried to convice the press that he had merely been hiding his "war scar" all this time with a prosthesis. A spokesman for the Swiftboat Veterans said, "Not even this pathetic sympathy bid can stand up to the power of our slick media spots."
Posted by Bin Goldman | Mar 12, 2007 9:49:40 PM
No - Charlie made me wipe with this hand.
Posted by Sick Puppy | Mar 12, 2007 9:59:16 PM
"Four, count 'em, four horsemen. That's what Falwell says are coming if you vote for the Whore of Babylon, Clinton!"
Posted by Kwietman | Mar 12, 2007 10:13:13 PM
Surprised when somebody questioned his eye sight, McCain clearly demonstrated that he can still see his hand, even when it is 'this far away'.
Posted by Christoph | Mar 12, 2007 10:16:43 PM
Mmm... those Bugles were good
Posted by Jamie | Mar 12, 2007 10:16:51 PM
EWWWW! 4 more years of Bush has really stunk, especially since I've been brown-nosing him AND the religious right.
Posted by Lyn | Mar 12, 2007 10:31:27 PM
The following thoughful!? debate by John McCain with himself:
"IF I do make office and end up like Bill GREAT President with a hand that smells like fish OR I end up like GW and my hand smells like shit and all the words out of my mouth will flow like shit, fish ain't so bad! ... That's it let her deal with it fish and all... By GOD I'll do it I'll VOTE FOR Hillary !!"
Posted by Kone_1 | Mar 12, 2007 10:39:35 PM
"Well, if I stand still enough maybe they'll leave me alone and forget I even attempted to run for president."
Posted by RK | Mar 12, 2007 10:43:10 PM
you know how hard I worked and what I have done for you fellow veterans. If you elect me, I promise you I will work harder, remember I share, three for me and I promise one for you this time.
Posted by fred veteran | Mar 12, 2007 11:10:52 PM
McCain explains the missing thumb "It began with a taunt 1,2,3,4 I declare a thumb war,5,6,7,8 you stink and Im great. Barack Obama is not only articulate but a fierce and cunning thumb warrior."
Posted by McCain | Mar 12, 2007 11:31:41 PM
"Don't worry, lefty still doesn't know what we're up to."
Posted by namstocs | Mar 13, 2007 1:26:09 AM
This habd has seen more battle than the lord of the rings trilogy, you punks betta recognize!
Posted by FBINinja | Mar 13, 2007 3:12:18 AM
Poop?!
Posted by Gina | Mar 13, 2007 5:07:10 AM
I hate shaking hands with Carnies. Their hands smell like cabbage.
Posted by Gina | Mar 13, 2007 5:15:39 AM
1999: McCain backhands Bush in the Primary elections and doesn't back down to rumors about making babies with black women. Al Gore wins and everything else was just a bad dream.
Posted by Gina | Mar 13, 2007 5:20:35 AM
"Yes, that's right, four and a half men are strong candidates for the Republican ticket, in my opinion. You see, we decided that Jim Gilmore had the parts, but not--oh, I hope I didn't just say that."
Posted by Bronwyn S. | Mar 13, 2007 5:33:19 AM
During a speech at a NAMBLA convention, Senator McCain demonstrates the proper way to auto-asphyxiate.
Posted by Tyler M | Mar 13, 2007 6:11:04 AM
Awwwww... the old stink-palm. DAMN YOU GINGRICH!!!
Posted by JoeP | Mar 13, 2007 6:19:56 AM
Yes, that is true, as a POW I survived on fingernails.
Posted by JoeP | Mar 13, 2007 6:23:38 AM
You want a fresh one Pelosi?
Posted by JoeP | Mar 13, 2007 6:25:27 AM
Damn it keeps going in and out. What's the fourth reason. Why am I supposed to hate gay marriage did Dobson say.. the site of two men farting whipped cream?
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 7:50:50 AM
Defeat smells like a bowl of whipped cream farts.
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 7:53:50 AM
"I ask you, my fellow Republicans, does this look like the hand of a man who would ever father a child with someone descended from a slave."
Posted by Michael Lardner | Mar 13, 2007 8:04:58 AM
I've got so many turds in my mouth now I dont know which one to chew and swallow or which one to spit out.
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 8:06:09 AM
I start every day with a fortune cookie. This morning it said . "You are the master of every situation." My wife turned to me and said "Not in Bed"
Damn the Chinese.
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 8:14:20 AM
What! I'm just two thumbs short of the other turd burglaring monkeys in Washington
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 8:20:11 AM
Yes, this is exactly how Karl Rove did it after the 2000 South Carolina primary as he said "Eat shit, McCain."
Marian
Posted by Marian Marracco | Mar 13, 2007 8:52:05 AM
Then you leave the moisturizer in for EXACTLY four minutes and your skin will glow just like mine.
Posted by raisinray | Mar 13, 2007 9:05:29 AM
I Know how to hold my mud okay I kept that yellow gopher in the hole for over four years.
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 9:12:15 AM
Drifting off in them middle of a speech, Arizona Senator John McCain tried to make the angry dog shadow puppet for the crowd.
Posted by Richard Backer | Mar 13, 2007 9:17:45 AM
Second Life all the kids are playing it my avatar was a Norwegian Forest Cat, But I changed it to this guy Gus who wears the coolest Pakistani Kufi, Very sporty. I give finger puppet shows and teach people how to blow stuff up.
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 9:43:27 AM
Ann Coulter isn't a talking crapsical I think of her as a savory Agent Orangesical. Yum Yum the creamy goodness
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 10:03:13 AM
Look, I've only got 4 minutes to tell you that I AM THE WALRUS, Koo Koo Ka Joob
Posted by Larson | Mar 13, 2007 10:04:40 AM
Looks more like E.T. is trying to put Senator McCain in a chokehold.
Posted by Daniel | Mar 13, 2007 10:25:52 AM
Senator McCain blows kisses to his female constituents from the Riverdale Nursing Home.
Posted by Daniel | Mar 13, 2007 10:27:05 AM
I get to be President for this many!
Posted by Ramona Beezus | Mar 13, 2007 12:18:37 PM
"... and three, three, three for my heartache and four, four, four for my headaches..."
Posted by Ramona Beezus | Mar 13, 2007 12:21:52 PM
THIS INVISIBLE PIE IS DELICIOUS!
Posted by Asher | Mar 13, 2007 12:44:33 PM
George W. Bush's balls.
Posted by | Mar 13, 2007 1:17:09 PM
Damn it! I need to remember to double up when it's 1-ply.
Posted by mike | Mar 13, 2007 1:30:56 PM
momentarily recalibrating his speech with the prejudice of neocon hot air
Posted by | Mar 13, 2007 1:38:38 PM
Then the cell door opened and a three nosed alligator (the end result of a generation of Red Chinese genetic experiments) lunged at my chin!
Posted by Fred Westermaier | Mar 13, 2007 1:44:21 PM
The funky stench of Santorum and teen abstinence only
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 1:47:13 PM
"Out, damned liver spot! Out!"
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 13, 2007 2:13:41 PM
Technically-challenged Senator McCain reads his palm pilot.
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 13, 2007 2:15:11 PM
Liver spots on his palm pilot made Senator McCain's cues hard to read.
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 13, 2007 2:17:02 PM
Is that the smell of Brimstone and Sulfur? Hugo Chavez was right!
Posted by Kevin | Mar 13, 2007 2:18:23 PM
"I count on my fingers because I have trouble with my short-term memory. Oh, and I have a problem with my short-term memory."
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 13, 2007 2:19:01 PM
Mmmmmmm... almost as good as Laura's hair...
Posted by Bob | Mar 13, 2007 2:29:14 PM
"I won't even tell my LEFT hand what my RIGHT hand is doing. That way I can be President just like Bush!"
Posted by Jim Andrus | Mar 13, 2007 2:33:24 PM
Thank you Mr. McCain. I was curious how many times during this interview have you used your P.O.W. experience tool to bolster sympathy and political support?
Posted by Michael | Mar 13, 2007 3:13:57 PM
smells a touch of the hole
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 3:54:51 PM
If I get on that Regis show, I'll ask Kelly Rippa if my hand smells better than Clay Aiken's.
Posted by Paul ryneski | Mar 13, 2007 4:01:05 PM
McCain teaches the youngsters the proper way to eat kidney liver and pancrease pie.
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 4:04:33 PM
I CAN FLY cmon now you have seen crouching tiger hidden dragon I'm asian after all.
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 4:07:18 PM
McCain runs a good campagn, but Guiliani has been taking side lessons in D from the Knicks.
Posted by Alex | Mar 13, 2007 4:09:08 PM
Ravaged by alzheimers poor Johnny says,"I'm this many"
Posted by jdf288 | Mar 13, 2007 4:22:57 PM
Excited after an episode of late night drinking with Hillary last year, McCain pat her on the ass. Sniffing his hand, he thought, "I'll be damned, smells just like Bill's aftershave."
Posted by sumac | Mar 13, 2007 4:34:43 PM
I told you, I tuck 4 golfballs in my left cheek before each press conference
Posted by klaus_kinski | Mar 13, 2007 4:37:23 PM
Finding nothing but empty pockets McCain uses his mad skilz to track his prey hmm definitely tastes like day old zucchini Damn Guilliani
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 4:37:34 PM
And that you wee beasties is how to pullout the still beating heart of an ass and eat it up like a kidney liver and pancrease pie.
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 4:55:52 PM
gawd, that smells like sh*t but I can't stop (sniff) ..smelling it
Posted by Teri | Mar 13, 2007 5:02:59 PM
The imaginary joint? Abit like the "air guitar" I guess.
Posted by mr_I | Mar 13, 2007 5:10:02 PM
VENGEANCE OF THE CLAW
After having been used for dirty business for decades, the claw turns bad
Posted by Bert | Mar 13, 2007 5:40:38 PM
McCain counting down the number of minutes until his jaw is permanently clenched shut.
Posted by Jacob | Mar 13, 2007 6:14:46 PM
Whew! Smells like a winner.
Posted by Gina Judd | Mar 13, 2007 6:17:07 PM
I don't remember fingering Bush.
Posted by Jess | Mar 13, 2007 6:29:25 PM
Dick stinks. Hate shaking his hand.
Posted by Jess | Mar 13, 2007 6:33:00 PM
Wow, you won't believe what Jerry Falwell ate last week.
Posted by Lee | Mar 13, 2007 6:35:51 PM
I should of used tolite paper.
Posted by flafishers | Mar 13, 2007 6:47:58 PM
I told W how to solve Social Security and Iraq - draft everybody over 40
Posted by | Mar 13, 2007 7:05:55 PM
Just one whiff of the acrid soot from the Devils Chimney causes McCain to ooze into his unctuous self
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 7:07:46 PM
So I said "W - draft everybody over 40 and you surge Iraq & solve Social Security
Posted by gheica | Mar 13, 2007 7:07:51 PM
hmm...three in the pink and one in the stink, the mixture of ass and pussy never smelt so good.
Posted by Chris | Mar 13, 2007 7:10:17 PM
Gee, I thought it would smell like Falwell but it still smells like W
Posted by Wose | Mar 13, 2007 7:28:31 PM
Yep it's ass gravy.
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 7:48:57 PM
its a 4 pronged strategy: we oppose everything the Democrats try to do, while saying why don't the Dems do more? we talk about how bipartisan we are but keep saying why don't the Dems do more? we admit to wrongdoing but won't agree to prosecute and keep saying how did the Dems make such a mess of things? when they say we made the mess we say why don't the Dems do more? Oh the thumb? thats in your face DEms don't you wish you were Repug licans and you would be olly oxen free!
Posted by wose | Mar 13, 2007 7:53:54 PM
Due to the Federal budget crisis, Senator McCain has taken to interpreting his own speeches for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing.
Posted by leanbean | Mar 13, 2007 7:55:06 PM
McCain continues to compromise with political powers, "Not eight, huh? Well, how about just the first four? Will you support me for just the first four?"
Posted by King of NH | Mar 13, 2007 7:57:05 PM
"Hmm, Smells like delicious pie!!!"
Posted by Chemical | Mar 13, 2007 8:09:18 PM
wow dick cheney really smells like frakenstien
Posted by j money | Mar 13, 2007 8:51:43 PM
i smell like death
Posted by | Mar 13, 2007 8:52:56 PM
i smell like death
Posted by | Mar 13, 2007 8:52:57 PM
is that janet renos pussystink on my fingers or just my own?
Posted by taintsawmassacre | Mar 13, 2007 9:16:16 PM
Smells like bush...
Posted by mscottparker | Mar 13, 2007 10:03:15 PM
McCain explains the missing thumb "It began with a taunt 1,2,3,4 I declare a thumb war,5,6,7,8 you stink and Im great. Then it escalated, and surgedagain and again. Turns out Barack Obama is not only articulate but a fierce and cunning thumb warrior."
Posted by leith | Mar 13, 2007 10:13:47 PM
Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
Posted by Tara F | Mar 13, 2007 10:43:08 PM
Man I smell like shit. Oh that's right, I am the shit!
Posted by Cotty | Mar 13, 2007 10:47:01 PM
If you'd like to vote for John McCain dial 1-876-Idols-04 at the end of the show
Posted by klaus_kinski | Mar 13, 2007 11:11:54 PM
Damn Hillary, that fart was so rank, it's burning my face!
Posted by Dhars | Mar 13, 2007 11:26:06 PM
Victory!
Posted by Thick White Duke | Mar 13, 2007 11:31:20 PM
I just ate my thumb.
Posted by | Mar 13, 2007 11:54:06 PM
I knew I should've taken it easy on the vodka...
Posted by Cpt. m00 | Mar 14, 2007 12:24:37 AM
Nacho cheese corn nuts? I haven't had my head up the presidents ass in over a week!
Posted by Roland S | Mar 14, 2007 12:35:58 AM
"Fuck you Comedy Central! Tim T. purposely crammed in every word you asked him to avoid in the last caption contest, too!" Said Senator John McCain. To his hand. While wearing a yellow tie.
Posted by Tim T. | Mar 14, 2007 12:44:42 AM
Damn, Cheney's shit DOESN'T stink.
Posted by donald henry | Mar 14, 2007 1:21:09 AM
Damn, Cheney's right, the president's shit don't stink.
Posted by Donald Henry | Mar 14, 2007 1:23:13 AM
"Next question, you -- you in the front row."
Posted by Daniel Kostka | Mar 14, 2007 1:24:27 AM
Crotch Rot
Posted by Robert Clifton | Mar 14, 2007 1:33:16 AM
His hand smells like a blend of a single malt, hooker spit, and Jamaican redhair.
Posted by Oberei | Mar 14, 2007 1:53:51 AM
"Represent G! See, I can get down with the youngins..."
Posted by Matt | Mar 14, 2007 2:11:38 AM
Smells a little like the Hanoi Hilton?
Or more like Little Saigon?
Posted by Mike | Mar 14, 2007 2:32:27 AM
viacom are old and out of touch with the american public, just like my hand. see.
Posted by mike | Mar 14, 2007 6:28:38 AM
They were all up in my grill it was all omelets and ass pillows.
Posted by leith | Mar 14, 2007 7:46:54 AM
General Pace Got up in my grill and gave me the what for "The Army isnt about a bunch of Nancy Boys rubbin their guns and prancing around Soldier, and it damn sure isnt going to be omelets and ass pillows on my watch."
Wha happened?
Posted by leith | Mar 14, 2007 7:57:21 AM
At that particular moment in time those ass pillows smelled like lavender and burnt omelet
Posted by leith | Mar 14, 2007 8:03:46 AM
I love to say ass pillows. Ass pillows ass pillows ass pillows go head try it makes you smile unicorns and ass pillows
Posted by leith | Mar 14, 2007 8:06:41 AM
Isn't it everyones wish for me to be smothered in ass pillows?
Posted by leith | Mar 14, 2007 8:08:48 AM
Bill was right, Hillary does smell like Condy.
Posted by John N | Mar 14, 2007 8:15:42 AM
I Love,Love the smell of Santorum and pillow mint in the morning.
Posted by leith | Mar 14, 2007 8:32:55 AM
On days I had to face Santorum I always save the pillow mint to eat in the morning.
Posted by leith | Mar 14, 2007 8:35:56 AM
Its a compulsion like writing the campaign finance reform bill , OCD It is called. True I have to lick every light bulb in the hotel room, I know there is no good reason to do it but I must or wizards will eat me like a pillow mint.
Posted by leith | Mar 14, 2007 8:46:28 AM
I fully support the current administration, cough, cough, bushhittt.
Posted by Jammer | Mar 14, 2007 8:59:35 AM
hack hack I have a cold but did you know stay five years in a hilton... Life time of free rides
Posted by leith | Mar 14, 2007 8:59:37 AM
I'll get to be the president for four years, count 'em four years! Not one or two or three, but FOUR years!
Posted by Jammer | Mar 14, 2007 9:01:18 AM
What's my bid for influence with my administration? Do I hear four million, four, four?
Posted by Jammer | Mar 14, 2007 9:03:17 AM
Okay free ride is a little rude but it is a hella a lot of extra mileage
Posted by leith | Mar 14, 2007 9:05:43 AM
How many Senators have
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