Let's face it, big cities only exist so we have a place for all the homos to get abortions while the communist Muslims smoke pot and read JD Salinger books. They're a part of America the same way the septic tank is part of my factory-built modular home. As we've been told so much lately by super smart people, the real America is in small towns. So from Wasilla, Alaska to Alpine, Texas, from Pacific City, Oregon to Jefferson, Virginia, here are The Daily Show's finest reports from real American small towns.

Wasilla, Alaska