Is it any surprise that Stephen Colbert's birthday, May 13, is exactly halfway to Christmas (don't do the math, just trust me)? The Colbert Report host turns 44 years patriotic today, so let's celebrate with a video retrospective of his awesomeness. First up, a clip from Stephen's first series, the Comedy Central sketch show Exit 57:

Our trip down Colbert-Memory Lane continues after the jump.

"There's a car in the kitchen!" [College Humor]

Does Fox feel guilty for canceling Arrested Development. [Best Week Ever]

Amy Sedaris fucks with fact-checkers. [NY Post]

Jason Sudeikis and Will Forte in A Good Old Fashioned Orgy. [Variety]

Hate by Numbers on fat cops. [Cracked]

Sarah Silverman, Patton Oswalt, Zach Galifianakis and Fred Armisen in documentary about Largo. [Pitchfork]

Shortest. Patton Oswalt interview. Ever. [Adam Cozens]

Drew Hastings interview. [Punchline]

doktor cocacolamcdonalds interview. [Bostonist]

Eddie Izzard interview. [Chicago Sun-Times]

Alex Blagg says, "Seriously guys - you HAVE to watch this clip!" I could not agree more. [Best Week Ever]

Amy Sedaris interview. [AV Club]

Judd Apatow movies are not Matthew Fox's cup of tea. [MTV Movie Blog]

SuperDeluxe to be folded into AdultSwim.com. [WaPo]

Several excerpts from The Chris Farley Show. [Centre Daily Times]

Jason Segel's Muppet movie to include Charles Grodin cameo. [Cinematical]

Pauly Shore named Comedian of the Year? [Video Business]

Emo Philips on Alt-Comedy Fest. [Comic's Comic]

Harland Williams signs internet deal. [Stage Time]

Never-seen script for never-released State CD. [Michael Ian Black]

Rob Huebel breaks model's heart via Tumblr. [Rob Huebel via The Apiary]

Zowee! Amelie Gillette, the Onion AV Club's Hater turned her acid eye on Vanity Fair's recent Annie Leibovitz shoot with those "Queens of Comedy." More importantly, the PRETTY women of comedy. Quoth VF's Alessandra Stanley:

"But the funniest women on television are youthful, good-looking, and even, in a few cases, close to beautiful—the kind of women who in past decades might have been the butt of a stand-up comic’s jokes."

Gillette cuts in with her own counter-argument, even going so far as to imply that the judgment of comedians is going beyond gender politics:

"Why not just provide a relative attractiveness chart? Or simply say, 'They're pretty--for comedians,' because, really, that's what this is about.

"This isn't a women vs. men issue. This is an attractive vs. ugly issue. It's a new(ish) thing for any comedian (male or female) to be attractive, funny, and successful."

The comments section is gettin' pretty heated, with some posters merely slagging or posting their "appreciation" of comedians' non-comedic assets from Tina Fey to Kristen Schaal. All I know is that the ultimate winner of this brouhaha is Christopher Hitchens, and that really chaps my hide.

Redeye, The Chicago Tribune's free  daily paper ran a feature highlighting some of its local heavyweights including Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert, Paul Dinello, Amy Poehler, Bernie Mac, Kathy Griffin, Amy Sedaris, Tina Fey, Bill Murray and scores of other SNL alumns.

See shots of your favorite comedians in the blush of youth - before they could afford trainers and stylists. Read anecdotes such as this one from Second City Training Center's Executive Artistic Director Anne Libera:

"Right after college, Stephen (Colbert) got an old car from one of his many brothers that he drove from South Carolina back up to Chicago one spring.

He really didn't have enough money to have a car and he somehow thought that if he only put a dollar's worth of gas in the tank at any time, that he would drive the car less.

He didn't. But it meant that any time Stephen gave you a ride, there was an extra added element of adventure connected to whether you would make it to the next gas station."

What was Andy Richter like in high school? How did Andy Dick win Homecoming King? Click here for lore and pictorial evidence.

(Thanks to NoFactZone tipster Sharon)