Here's the first post in an ongoing series featuring content from our nation's college humor magazines. This week Matt Henick of the Stanford Chaparral expounds on meat.

Ode to Sausage

Intestinal lining
Filled with meat, fills me with joy
Bursting at the seams, too much insides for the outs
You arrogant fool, you know your insides are sweet
And outside tight. Stretch! Stretch!
Let me stuff you, some more can be fit
Teetering on the line, burst not sweet one.

I'm confused. In the picture series on the left of the site, doesn't it look like they're beating Jesus up? If wrestling's not your thing, check out Juggler for Jesus. His rationale is "There are may people who will come to see a juggler, who would never come to a "Regular" church service." I'd like to see a mash-up of the two, with Jugglers struggling to keep balls in the air while wrestlers try to pin them down - for Jesus.

According to the BBC, "Two circus clowns have been shot dead during a performance in the eastern Colombian city of Cucuta. The audience of about 20 people, mostly children, thought the shooting was part of the show before realizing both men had been killed."

And as it turns out, children get the wrong idea about a lot of things.

Here at the Comedy Central Insider, we like listening to you. And the main thing you say when you see this site is, apparently: "Who the f**k writes this sh*t?"

So, introducing us: the people who write this sh*t. From now on we'll be using our real names (except for Kittenpants, but her real name is on the Contributors page. Hint: it's Darci. Darci Ratliff.)

T-Bob is now: dustin chinn

Raleigh St. Clair is now: dennis diclaudio

Batman: The Horse is now: matt tobey

Sketch Guy is now: chris principe

David Maize is now: david maize

Axel Foley is now: jamil ellis

Chucklef**ker is now: lindsay robertson

Read our bios here. Send us emails here. Pick favorites! Pit us against each other! Whatever. Just don't tell our parents this is what we're doing with our respective college educations.

I've got a thing for local furniture store commericals. First there was Norton, then Mongomery Flea Market, and now this. How many times can you say the word "Fays" in 30 seconds? The current record is 7.

For all of you who are concerned, don't worry. The Montgomery Flea Market is just like a mini-mall.

We brought you the original last year. Now check out these spinoffs:

China has asked its public to come up with names for 18 baby pandas. According to the Conservation and Research Centre for the Giant Panda, the names should be civilised, standard, creative and able to highlight the panda's character as a national treasure. If you count these six from The Onion, they only need 12 more.