In anticipation of the entertainment event of the summer, we'll be posting exclusive reports, photos and clips from the Roast of Pamela Anderson. Here's our first report, straight from the red carpet:
This past Sunday Comedy Central saw quite a few firsts. We hosted our first-ever roast of a woman, it was the first time we held a roast in LA, and it was the first time we got to see Pamela Anderson's nipples live and in person.
Yes, as we only hoped would happen, one of the many highlights of the evening was the uber-tight wardrobe malfunctioning black sweater Ms. Anderson wore, enabling all on the red carpet to catch a firsthand look at some of the best plastic surgery in the business.
She was though, at times, shyly hiding behind a giant carrot. Imagine, a tomato like that hiding behind a carrot! Hey-ohhh!
The show was filled with a plethora of LA-usuals, from a jewel-bedecked Dennis Rodman, to a very Anna Nicole Smith-y Anna Nicole Smith to Andy Dick, who literally flipped our interviewer over with his retard strength.
Courtney Love arrived on the red carpet late, which was one of the more humane things she did that evening, as she proceeded to cause such a scene on the dais that a half-amused Jimmy Kimmel had to literally wrangle her, while she wrapped her legs around him and shouted to Sarah Silverman across the way: "I'm stealing your man!"
The parts of the taping that were NOT Love-tainted went off gloriously, from consummate Roaster Jeffery Ross emerging onstage in a coat he swore was 100% puppy-skin, to the Lady Bea Arthur's touching reading of Pam's first introduction to the facts of anal sex from her newest work of fiction, Star Struck.
Speaking of anal sex, there were a lot, and we mean a LOT of jokes about Andy Dick's sexual orientation. He responded by making out with Jeffrey Ross. Repeatedly. The real shocker of the evening, however, was the revelation that Tommy Lee, Pamela's former husband and baby daddy has a big penis.
We were totally shocked too.
That's all our jet-lagged brain can muster at the moment, check back tomorrow for "What Didn't Courtney Do?: A CC Insider Exclusive Game."
Speaking of games: Shock your friends with our new insult game, Roast As You Go.