My grandma always said, "You don't look a gift horse in the mouth." It had less to do with the common saying and more to do with the fact that she was terrified of gift horses. "Their mouth is where they hold their evil!" she'd say.

The point is, free tickets to Amy Schumer's pilot taping is one gift horse you can totally look in the mouth and go like, "Hey, this is a pretty great gift horse!"

The show tapes Wednesday at 1pm and 3pm. You must live in or near New York to apply. Your laugh can be on TV! That's almost like being famous. Click here for more details.

January is almost over. Winter is halfway through and change is in the air. People were born and people died. Flowers wilted and seedlings sprouted. Girls became women and boys became men. Boyz II Men changed their names to Men II Old Guyz. I finally got my period. And the final week of voting for Comedy Central's Stand-Up Month came to an end.

Here are the winners, along with the times their specials will air tonight:

Amy Schumer: 9/8c

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Voting is at the heart of America's democracy. And that heart is a withering, decaying muscle, barely able to pump blood to its feeble limbs. On the other hand, no it's not. Voting is great, and America is great! Sorry, I get schizophrenic when I have to make tough decisions. I'm trying to choose which comedians to Watch, Like and Follow in order to vote for them in this week's Stand-Up Month competition. The winners will have their specials air this Friday starting at 9/8c.

This week, you can choose between Patton Oswalt, Louis CK, Paul F. Tompkins, Pete Holmes, Anthony Jeselnik, Amy Schumer, Julian McCullough, Sheng Wang and Kristen Schaal. Here's one of my favorite clips from Patton…

It's like Sophie's Choice if I actually knew what Sophie's Choice was about. It's about World War II or something, right?

For more stand-up, don't miss the premiere of John Mulaney: New In Town Saturday at 10/9c.

From bin Laden to Gaddafi, 2011 will be remembered for the downfall of many deranged madmen, but one unhinged maniac survived his attack and the whole thing was broadcast on TV. I'm speaking of course of Charlie Sheen who took an onslaught of zings and barbs in what ultimately became the biggest Roast in Comedy Central history.

Comedy Central Records had a great year in 2011. But of course I think that; I get paid to. I'd say 1911 was a great year for Comedy Central Records if I thought there was a shiny nickel in it for me. On the other hand, the esteemed crew of The Onion AV Club doesn't rely on Comedy Central for food and shelter, and they still named a whopping seven Comedy Central Records releases to their list of The Best Comedy Albums of 2011.

You can read the full list here, which also includes three excellent non-Comedy Central albums. But first, why not sample each of the seven albums for yourself?

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It's nice to see that, even with the world ending next year, Comedy Central is going about business as usual. I guess it's kind of like how they say if you get stranded on an island, you should still shave every day to keep from going insane. And I don't know about you, but staring down the apocalypse is a whole lot easier for me to take with new projects in development from The Gregory Brothers, Rob Delaney, Jeffrey Ross, Wyatt Cenac, Cyanide and Happiness, Andrew Daly, Kumail Nanjiani, Amy Schumer, Anthony Jeselnik, Eugene Mirman, Matt Braunger and more.

You can read the full rundown below, but first, here are a few videos from some of the talent on the slate:

The Gregory Brothers and Jeffrey Ross

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As mentioned earlier, apart from being hilarious, one of the most noteworthy things about Patrice O'Neal was the level of admiration he garnered from his fellow comics. He had virtually as many fans within the stand-up community as he did in the theater seats, so the outpouring of tweets by comedians following the news of Patrice's death came as no surprise. As a tribute to Patrice and the high esteem in which he was held, we've collected some of those in-the-moment reactions from his friends in the comedy world.

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This week, The Download invaded the New York Comedy Festival, shooting on location and snagging a couple of the tour's headliners for exclusive interviews. Amy Schumer sat down with host Jordan Rubin to talk about the pitfalls of inter-comedian dating, and Jim Gaffigan swung by to make fun people who take Twitter far too seriously. Meanwhile, intrepid man-on-the-street Owen Benjamin hit the streets of New York to do some real-life Facebook stalking, poking and friending.

Catch it in all its Internetiness below:

by Mike Henneberger

Thursday night was my first night at the New York Comedy Festival. With Louis CK, Wanda Sykes and Russell Peters all performing at different venues across New York City, picking a show wasn’t easy. Fortunately, Comedy Central made the tough decision for me, and my weekend of comedy kicked off with the great Michael Ian Black. Before Michael took the stage to tell stories about his "poo" almost escaping his hotel room toilet and how Creed’s "With Arms Wide Open" made him a better father, Dave Hill did some time, and Charlie Sheen Roast favorite Amy Schumer opened the show. MIB’s long-time friend Tom Cavanagh even made a special appearance on stage to perform a live version of their podcast Mike and Tom Eat Snacks.

Here are some pics from last night's show:

The New York Comedy Festival continues through the weekend, and tickets are still available to some shows. Follow @jokesdotcom and @nycomedyfest on Twitter using the #NYCF hashtag to keep up with all the craziness.

Making your dais debut must be nerve-wracking. On the one hand, if you do poorly, you'll be deeply ashamed. On the other hand, if you do well, Mike Tyson will eat your children. But Amy Schumer has no fear (ooh, like the T-shirts!). She doesn't have kids and she doesn't have shame (in a good way). Here's a short clip of her placing a fire spell on the wizard himself.

As part of Charlie Central, Amy will be live-tweeting the Charlie Sheen early 90's classic Hot Shots! tomorrow at 1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT. Follow along on her Twitter account @AmySchumer.

The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen premieres Monday at 10/9c.