You think you're so smart, cool and sexy. You should be programming Comedy Central's stand-up specials, right? Well, it's not all about you, Mom! Sorry, I was replaying a conversation from earlier today. You guys, on the other hand, are totally smart, cool and sexy enough to vote on your favorite comics and help decide whose special airs tonight.

Here are the winners, along with the times their specials will air.

Corey Holcomb: 9/8c

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Tomorrow, GOP voters in New Hampshire will head to the polls to help select their party's Presidential nominee. But if you live outside of The Granite State and have a serious case of voting-envy, fret not, because you can still exercise your civic duty over on the Comedy Central Stand-Up Facebook page, where you can cast your ballot for your favorite comics among Aziz Ansari, Michael Ian Black, Earthquake, Jo Koy, Chelsea Handler, Katt Williams and more. Sadly, Rick Santorum is not included on account of he's so hilarious that it just wouldn't have been fair.

So, get over there and Watch, Like and Follow your favorites, then tune-in Friday night to see this week's winners.

For more Stand-Up Month revelry, don't miss the premiere of Kevin Hart: Laugh at My Pain Sunday at 9/8c.

by Mike Henneberger

I was pretty flattered when I got my copy of the GQ’s "Men of the Year" issue in the mail this month and saw my name on the cover. Of course my friends were jealous—saying things like, "You're crazy," and "That's the address label." On this version of the cover, slightly above my name and address, a very dapper Jay-Z stands next to the words "The King" right above his name. And to his right there is a long list of jesters that made the list this "Year of The High-Bro… when bro culture went highbrow." Inside you can accompany Aziz Ansari around Japan, Tina Fey talks about how great Steve Carell is, and comic legend Joan Rivers writes about Louis C.K.:

"Louis says stuff onstage that nobody else is saying—that's what makes a star. He's fearless and he hates a lot of things that deserve to be hated."

Meanwhile, Jon Stewart makes an appearance to write his accolades for South Park and Book of Mormon creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker:

"When you witness a work of such quality—and this is coming from someone who traffics in their field—there is only one thing to say, and I cannot say it emphatically enough: Fuck those guys."

Read more at GQ. And after the jump, you can watch Matt and Trey chatting with Jon on The Daily Show.

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If I had 30 minutes or less I'd probably waste it on ice cream and a chat with a loved one. Lucky for me, the movie 30 Minutes or Less makes better use of its time. It has car chases, guns, flame throwers, Aziz Ansari, Jesse Eisenberg, Nick Swardson and Danny McBride. So basically, everything. The movie opens tomorrow, and if you love yourself, you'll see it. Even if you hate yourself, you should see it and really get to the bottom of your issues.

30 Minutes or Less opens in theaters tomorrow, August 12.

by Intern Matthew Balzer

Breakfast time! John Pinette was on Good Day NY promoting John Pinette: Still Hungry, premiering Friday at 11/10c. [My Fox NY]

If you pre-order Tig Notaro's new album, you are entered for a chance to have her perform in your living room. She really ties the room together. [SC Distribution]

Todd Barry made an audition tape to star in a Rite Aid commercial. Nailed it. [Todd Barry]

Silent Bob Speaks! Kevin Smith is developing a daytime talk show. [AV Club]

Aziz Ansari reveals what you should yell at him in public. [Complex]

Donald Glover goes to "Camp" with his new Childish Gambino album. [SplitSider]

Simon Pegg, a carving knife and dirty underpants. Intrigued? [/film]

Variety named 10 comics to watch for in 2011. Watch! [SplitSider]

Just for Laughs New Faces of Comedy announced. Many of them are attached to heads. [LaughSpin]

Do you have trouble with boundaries? Holy Taco is holding a Stand-Up Anywhere contest. [Holy Taco]

(Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic/Getty Images)

by Intern Ben Orbison

The Daily Show won Best Talk Show at today's inaugural Critics' Choice Television Awards. Hooray! [Chicago Tribune]

This article proves that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will one day hold just as much political power as the Supreme Court.
Sort of. [Variety]

After many fake trailers parodying other movies, The Muppets finally gets a trailer of its very own. [AV Club]

"Butterface" does not even begin to describe Weird Al Yankovic’s first music video for his new album Alpocalypse. [Buzzfeed]

Speaking of The Muppets, Jason Segal talks about his favorite Muppets, writing the movie, and why Kermit is better than Julie Andrews. [/film]

Tom Hanks is going to hunt people down if The Onion does not get a Pulitzer Prize. Unless it’s a Catch Me If You Can scenario, in which case he’ll just become their best friend and mentor. [SplitSider]

There is a new red band trailer for 30 Minutes or Less, which stars Aziz Ansari, Jesse Eisenberg, Danny McBride and Nick Swardson. [Deadline]

by Intern Margaret Shin

Olivia Munn will join the cast of Aaron Sorkin's cable news drama pilot tentatively titled More as This Story Develops. She'll play a sexy financial analyst named Sloan. First name, Sloan, last name, don't know yet but thinking it's Sexypants. [THR]

Paul Feig and Judd Apatow are looking to match-make Jon Hamm and Melissa McCarthy. They may play "unconventional lovers" in an upcoming project. [Cinema Blend]

Aziz Ansari will tape his latest stand-up special Dangerously Delicious in Washington, DC this Friday. [Express Night Out]

Listen to a track from Christopher Titus's upcoming Comedy Central Records release, Neverlution. [Punchline]

Talk show host, stand-up and vodka activist Chelsea Handler is in negotiations to join the teen comedy Fun Size, written by Colbert Report writer Max Werner. [THR]

Shaq on his All-Star Comedy Jam tour: "I played with many All-stars on the court and laughed with these All-stars off the court." Not only that, he gets his cars specially made–all stretched and shit. Kazaam! [All Headline News]

New trailer for Our Idiot Brother is out. Paul Rudd is supposedly a dumb, sweet stoner in this film. But really, would a dumb person invent the "tomion" (cross between a tomato and onion)? I wish that were real! [SplitSider]

This is depressing. Just found out comedians have no money. [The Apiary]

"My dog is having a pretty serious face-off with a squirrel here. You're missing it." Rob Huebel says other stuff that you shouldn't miss in this interview. [SplitSider]

(Photo by Chelsea Lauren/WireImage/Getty Images)

Comedy festivals have long been an American staple. Just take Woodstock, for instance. My parents always told me they did "a lot of funny things there" that were "so funny [they] couldn't legally talk about them" and were actually "funny enough to justify a flock of older step-siblings that I'll find out about someday." It must have been a laugh riot!

But never fear, present-day America, the fun isn't over. Summer 2k11 is shaping up to be a season full of unprotected sex and illegal drugs. Also, there will be many comedy festivals:

Bonnaroo Comedy Tent

From June 9-12, Tennessee will be funny (on purpose). Comedy legends and up-and-comers alike have come through before, and this year should bring equal excellence. Plus, as you may have heard, thanks to the talented and probably handsome people at Comedy Central, a streaming webcast of all the performances will begin Sunday, June 12.

The 9th Annual LA Improv Comedy Festival

All that is supposedly miserable about LA will be forgotten from June 6-11 as a power lineup of comedians apparently plan on just making things up right there on the spot and hoping they'll be funny. Catch Joel McHale, Drew Carey, Angela Kinsey and more at this epic improv gathering.

Sketchfest NYC

When the creators of this event describe it as "one weekend of mind-blowing fun," they are not joking. Here are people at this event who will be joking and are very good at it: Whitest Kids U Know, BriTANicK, Comedy Central Digital Shorts, Elephant Larry and more!

Tosh Tour On Ice

This may not seem like a "festival" to you at first, but that's probably because you openly disrespect the OED's definition of a festival as "a time of festive celebration, a festal day." Everything about Daniel Tosh is incredibly festal. He's taking on the US and Canada, so pick your location here.

Solid Sound Festival

John Hodgman, Wyatt Cenac, Eugene Mirman, Morgan Murphy. In Massachusetts from June 24-26. Hold onto your hats. Because there's a hat thief on the loose in Massachusetts. Additionally, these comedians are so funny that you might lose track of all your inhibitions and belongings, including your hat.

There are plenty of weepy dramas about people dying of full-blown scurvy that are based on true-stories, and even more biopics inspired by the lives of real dead rock stars. But action comedies based on actual events are much fewer and far between. That said, the fact that it's based on a true story is only like #12 on the list of reasons 30 Minutes of Less looks great, way behind reasons like Aziz Ansari, Nick Swardson and flame-throwers.

30 Minutes or Less opens in theaters August 12.

Wyatt Cenac on doing double duty, as a correspondent and a writer on The Daily Show, "It’s nice because I think doing both jobs, one informs the other, and you get to know the limits of each job, as far as what feasibly can and can’t be done." Wyatt Cenac: Comedy Person premieres tomorrow at 11/10c. [AV Club]

Louis CK talks about growing up and how that shaped his comedy, "That was my comedy upbringing in Boston. If you weren’t funny you got your ass kicked. It wasn’t just about getting laughs; it was about survival." [Playboy]

It's starting to look like Mindy Kaling may not return to The Office as a writer, but she will probably stay on as a cast member. [NY Mag]

Tony Hendra, a man who worked on Spy and National Lampoon magazine, and was in This Is Spinal Tap, started a parody newspaper which boasts some impressive contributors like Terry Jones and Mike Myers, as well as pieces by a bunch of New York comics. [Final Edition]

NBC has picked up Chelsea Handler's sitcom based on her book Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, as well as Free Agent starring Hank Azaria, Natasha Leggero, Al Madrigal, Joe Lo Truglio and Mo Mandel and four other sitcoms! [TV Guide]

Joe Lo Truglio, Ken Marino and David Wain reminisce about Wet Hot American Summer, "I certainly did not expect that it would live on over the years the way that it has." [AV Club]

Here are a series of on-set interviews with the cast and crew of the upcoming film 30 Minutes or Less. [Aziz Ansari and Dilshad Vadsaria, Danny McBride and Nick Swardson, Ruben Fleischer]

(Photo by FilmMagic Inc/FilmMagic/Getty Images)