If you think about it, those candy hearts were sort of a predecessor to Twitter, in that it they feature short messages, and it's not really a good idea to try to eat them. So it makes sense that a lot of folks would take to Twitter to spread their Valentine's Day messages. With that in mind, here are a bunch of V-Day-themed tweets from some of our favorite comedians:

Hallmark, I'll go 50/50 on this card with you: "Moisten your inbox, baby; this Valentine's coming in hard."

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Dane Cook, who spent a lot of time with Patrice O'Neal in their early days, shared some memories of Patrice with VH1's Big Morning Buzz Live. Dane talks about a dinner during a road gig where they both coached each other on breaking up with their girlfriends.

You can watch the first part of Dane Cook's interview here. It's very nice seeing so many people share their thoughts and feelings about the comedy great. Jon Stewart also paid tribute to the man during last night's Daily Show Moment of Zen.

If you want to see Patrice at his best, catch Patrice O'Neal: Elephant in The Room airing tonight at 8/7c and again uncensored at 12/11c.

With Halloween officially in the rear-view mirror, we can finally start thinking about holiday shopping. Personally, I always get my friends and loved ones sacks of rabid marmots for Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanzaa. But have you seen the price of sacks of rabid marmots this year? Highway robbery! Lucky for you, me and my loved ones, for the next four hours, Amazon will be selling a special five-pack of Comedy Central Records CDs by Maria Bamford, Mike Birbiglia, Norm Macdonald, Dane Cook and Steven Wright for the low, low price of $29.99.

Click the image below to take advantage of the Lightning Deal, but it only lasts until 5pm EST / 2pm PST.

While shopping at a mall, Chris Rock was in the vicinity when a woman's water broke. Instead of running from the horror of childbirth, he used his comedic chops to make her laugh. He's like pregnant lady Superman! [NY Post]

Dane Cook is set for a guest appearance on Hawaii Five-O as Danno's brother. This follows the announcement he will appear on Broadway in Neil LaBute's Fat Pig. ACTING! [EW]

Jon Lovitz has psoirasis?! But, if it can happen to a man like him, that means it can happen TO LITERALLY SOME OTHER PEOPLE TOO! [AOL Health]

Comedy Death Ray continues making fun music videos to help out the LA Food Bank. This one is for a song called Christmas Lady Marmalade, and it stars some of your favorite comics. [Funny or Die]

Reggie Watts will have a conversation with astrophysicist Janna Levin and writer and host Kurt Anderson in this livestream starting at 7:30pm. Minds will be blown! [WNYC]

MC Mr. Napkins talks about mixing comedy and rap, "For me the comedy is not intended to be clowning on rap. I don’t want it to be, 'I’m so unlikely as a rapper, and so it’s funny that I’m even attempting this.'" [Punchline]

If you wanted to read Pam's comic about Jim getting attacked by a bear from last week's Office, consider this your Christmas present. [Vulture]

Moshe Kasher shows the Internet what his Thanksgiving meal looks like. SPOILER ALERT: It looks like if Harmony Korine attempted to direct an upbeat version of the holiday. [Punchline Magazine]

Julia Louis-Dreyfus is definitely going to star in the new series from In The Loop's Simon Blackwell and Armando Iannucci, Veep. Based on everyone involved, I have high expectations for this project. [EW]

Cookie Monster submits an audition tape to Saturday Night Live as part of an Internet campaign to make him a host on the show. Omitting every celebrity on that show ever, this will mark the first time a puppet has hosted. [Splitsider]

Jay Pharoah did his Obama impersonation on Late Show (Fred Armisen currently does it on SNL). Regardless of the politicking and speculation involved, I think most people can admit, it was a pretty great first time appearance on Letterman. [BWE]

Here's a sneak peek video of the Community stop-motion Christmas episode. I love holiday sitcom episodes because watching TV (YAY!) is the antithesis to spending time with your family (YUCK!) [In Other News]

Two studies have found that self-deprecating humor is embarrassing to one's partner. I thought that was the whole point of going out with people? To embarrass them as much as possible. [Montreal Gazette]

Dane Cook was on The Tonight Show last night where he accepted the offer to speak at his biggest hater's funeral and took his shirt off for Taylor Swift. [NBC Part 1, Part 2]

Will the UCB East finally be open by February 5, 2011? Improv 401 Harold Workshop students are being told it's where their performance will be held! [Comic's Comic]

ABC develops Jay Mohr sitcom, targets male demo. They really wanna reach males? Call it The Boobs Beer Farts Balls Show. [NY Mag]

Judd Apatow interviewed Daniel Radcliffe, who thinks he's actually Harry Potter. Given the fact that I've been calling Daniel, the actual human person, "Harry Potter" now for years, I'd say most of America thinks he's Harry Potter too. [Funny or Die]

Now that Dane Cook is about to become a serious Broadway actor, it's only a matter of time before he's an opera singer, a concert cellist, a caviar spokesman and a renowned monocle-smith. But even when he gets totally highbrow, you can still remember his stand-up days with I Did My Best: Greatest Hits. It's a new two-disc best-of compilation and it's available now. Take a listen to some samples courtesy of this embeddable widget.

Well, this is becoming a trend. Dane Cook is the most recent comedian getting a Broadway debut…

Dane Cook, the standup comic and a featured actor in films like “Dan in Real Life” and “Mr. Brooks,” has become the latest funnyman to enlist for a tour of duty of Broadway: he’ll star opposite Josh Hamilton in a production of Neil LaBute’s “Fat Pig” that is planned for the spring, press representatives for the show said on Thursday.

Fat Pig is an acclaimed Neil LaBute play about a man, of average weight, who falls in love with a large woman and is ridiculed by his coworkers as a result. Dane would play the character of Carter, a superficial office mate attempting to convince the main character to dump his new girlfriend.

For comedians, Mr. Cook said, Broadway is “the deus ex machina,” adding: “You want it to come down and you want to be part of that closing moment.”

Laughing at his highfalutin vocabulary, Mr. Cook explained it was a holdover from the years he spent in high school as a summer stock performer, and “my old Cole Porter song-and-dance days, when I used to have dalliances with those words.”

“I was wearing the top hat and the tails,” Mr. Cook said. “‘Anything Goes’ was actually the first play I ever did. Maybe that’ll be the next step.”

About a month ago it was also announced that Robin Williams would make his own Broadway debut (as an actor in a play) next year. Jim Gaffigan and Chris Rock are also slated for Broadway debuts. Ben Stiller and Bobby Canavale will be returning to Broadway. Currently on Broadway, Ben Walker stars in the critically acclaimed Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. And of course, who could forget Matt Stone and Trey Parker's The Book of Mormon?!

So, to all the producers without comedians in their Broadway plays this upcoming season: Get on that shit! Classically trained actors aren't fun! Rob Schneider for A Raisin in the Sun!

I'm not Jewish, I don't know much about Judaism, and I've never heard of the American Jewish World Service, but I am a 30-ish comedy nerd, so when Judd Apatow makes a thing with a bunch of funny people in it, I have a hard time not opening my checkbook. I've lost count of all the money I've Paypal'd over the years to freaks, geeks, 40-year-old virgins and Katherine Heigls. Anyway, here's Tracy Morgan, Sarah Silverman, Triumph, Jerry Seinfeld, Ben Stiller and everyone else ever in an Apatow-directed PSA for the AJWS.

Who would have guessed a guy like Rob Cantrell loved pot? Answer: Everyone. Absolutely everyone. Here he is as General Potton rallying the troops in defense of Prop 19. [Atom]

Dane Cook once again talks to the Comic's Comic and it's very interesting, "Not that you're looking for the negativity. I'm not. But it always just kind of reminds you that you're not vanilla. If nobody's saying anything, that's really scary. [Comic's Comic]

The Lonely Island released a short video today with a "Huge-Ass Announcement." What is it? You have to watch to find out. But also it's a new album in 2011. [YouTube]

Here's an image of a reunion of notable SNL female cast-members filming a Real Housewives sketch starring Andy Cohen, which will air on the 'Women of SNL' special. [WOW Report]

Andy Richter talks about the new Conan show, "[Most discussions have] been things like, 'Let’s give the impression that we don’t give a [shit]… Let’s give the impression that we’re having fun.'" [NPR]

G. Xavier Robillard, a one-time contributor to this blog, has released his debut comedy album titled G is for Gangsta. Here is the title track. [All Day Coffee]

Larry Wilmore talks about Obama, race relations and The Rally to Restore Sanity in this radio interview. [BBC World]

Brendon Small shares his picks for a 24-hour Halloween horror marathon, "I remember from the commentary, William Friedkin talking about louds and quiets throughout the whole movie. That’s how comedy works, and how horror works too." [The AV Club]

SNL writer Christine Nangle stars in the first episode of the new web series created by Carolyn Dempsey and Dylan Snowden and starring Emily Strachan called Get a Job, Erika. [Splitsider]

When the public imagines comedians as young people, they often think of the class clown. In real life, the class clown can often be a bully getting cheap laughs, calling other kids gay. Many comedians and comedy writers probably identify more with the kid getting picked on. So it comes as no surprise that Sarah Silverman and Dane Cook both contributed to Dan Savage's "It Gets Better" movement (wherein adults make videos assuring gay teens that bullying won't continue forever). One of the most effective of these videos though, has to be UCB's take on it, wherein many gay and bisexual writers, performers, teachers and staff members show that even if you're not accepted in high school, there's a community out there waiting for you.

It's nice seeing such pure sincerity bubble up from the internet, particularly comedians. Good work, everybody!