Comedy Central Insider Blog

Whenever a new silly scientific study comes out, there's always some bozo who goes, "Wow, shouldn't those scientists be hard at work curing cancer?" I always want to be like, "You work at Costco, shouldn't you be hard at work curing the fact that you work at Costco?" Besides, without all the non-cancer scientists, we would have never found out that women process jokes differently from men because no one has talked about that ever.

Scientists have found that while women are slower than men at getting jokes, they enjoy them more when the penny does drop.

Research shows that women use their brain more than men to process quips and have less expectation that they will be funny.

Next time I tell a lady a joke and she doesn't like it, I'm going to tell her to wait an hour and then come back to me and then I will ask her to marry me and she will say yes, but then my parents won't approve because she is from the wrong side of the tracks and I will have to not marry her and her name will be my dying words and all my kids will be like, "Who was Martha Glokesly?" but I will take that information with me to my grave.

When a joke does hit the right note, however, they derive more pleasure from it…

The funnier the cartoon, the more the women's nucleus accumbens lit up. This was not the case for men, who seemed to expect the cartoons to be funny from the start.

Men are always like, "I want my Marmaduke to be funny even before I read the caption, motherfuckers!" And women are all like, "I have the time and patience to read the caption and be wowed by Brad Anderson's subtle wit." Science works!

Despite all this new research, scientists have still not discovered why women over 40 who work in cubicles love Cathy comics so much. AAACK!

[via The Awl]

I don't want to be a sad news bear, but I have some unfortunate news to start the new decade. Stand-up pioneer Jean Carroll died on the first day of the new year.

Jean Carroll, a comedian of the 1940s and ’50s whose ready wit, impeccable timing and unorthodox blend of glamour and humor made her one of the first female stars of mainstream stand-up comedy, died at a hospital in White Plains on Jan. 1. She was 98 and lived in Hartsdale, N.Y.

Although she isn't as well-remembered as many of her male contemporaries, she had a hugely successful career, starting out in vaudeville, eventually landing record and sitcom deals, and appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show over 20 times (Thanks, Wikipedia).

Genteel by today’s standards, Ms. Carroll’s humor was radical in its day — radical, that is, in the hands of a lone woman with a microphone in front of her and an audience at her command. For a female comic to wield that sort of power was unheard of then, especially in the smoke-filled universe of nightclubs.

You should read the entire New York Times obituary, as it does a great job of highlighting Carroll's fascinating life and career. Here's a funny borscht belt style joke the obit recounts…

“The thing that attracted me to my husband was his pride,” one of her best-known bits went. “I’ll never forget the first time I saw him, standing up on a hill, his hair blowing in the breeze — and he too proud to run and get it.”

I know this isn't exactly the best way to start the new decade, but in a way, it almost symbolizes the turning of time. Like I will one day say to my robo-grandchildren, "When God shuts an Internet Explorer tab, he opens a Firefox window." Jean Carroll paved the way for all the female comics after her, and in a way, the best way to pay respect to her is moving forward and acknowledging the funny women of today.

Our thoughts are with Jean Carroll's family. Here's a clip of her performing for all us to enjoy.

Larry The Cable Guy must be a very generous guy, because he just donated $1.2 million dollars to the Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital so they can build a 14 bed-children's unit. If I had that much spending money, I would probably be one of those millionaires who travel to space. I hear outside of Earth's orbit, massive selfishness is practically weightless. Here's a local news video about Larry's handsome donation to the children's hospital. Oh, just a head's up, this video was apparently edited by a monkey with no fingers.

Was that art? Someone should donate $1.2 million dollars to this news station because it really needs help. Also, I may be a little immature, but I giggled when Larry the Cable Guy said, "You can give to Madonna…" because the Madonna I was thinking of is a rich person who probably farts money and eats children.

Seriously though, Christmas is a time for giving, and you can support the Git-R-Done foundation by contributing here. It's a great cause!

[via Punchline]

If you haven't heard of Fred Figglehorn, that probably means you are over the age of eleven. If you have heard of Fred but don't understand his popularity, that probably means you are a twenty-three year old blogger named, "me". Soon though, everyone will have heard of Fred and his comedic stylings…

Mr. Cruikshank, a 16-year-old from rural Nebraska, created the character — a tantrum-throwing 6-year-old named Fred Figglehorn whose voice is sped up to “chipmunk” levels— about four years ago…. some of Mr. Cruikshank’s YouTube videos [generate] more than 10 million hits…

Director-producer Brian Robbins (Norbit, Varsity Blues), United Talent Agency and a management company called the Collective are giving it a go with Mr. Cruikshank. “Fred: The Movie,” written by David A. Goodman, an executive producer of “Family Guy,” started filming in November for a 2010 release…

You know that screenplay you've been working on for two years. It might never be made, but you still dutifully perfect it, making sure all the jokes work just right. I mean, who knows, right? Maybe someday you'll get lucky and it will fall into the right hands.

Yeah, a sixteen year-old with a YouTube channel and an understanding of the "chipmunk" effect just beat you at your own game.

He said it took him and his siblings about 30 minutes to make one of the two-minute videos, which he watches once and forgets…

Wow, I never thought I'd feel so old this early in my life. I went to college to learn things?! That is an old man way of doing things!

[via Videogum]

After the jump, I've posted some videos of Fred's biggest YouTube hits.
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Does God have a sense of humor? Let's hope he does before someone in the following story gets crucified. The Cap City Comedy Club in Austin is currently engaged in spiritual warfare against a bunch of loud churchies…

That energy combined with the music from church's band has silenced some of the laughter at the Capitol City Comedy Club next door.

Bishop Thomas said they have adjusted meeting times, turned down the band and cut the microphones, but said the church still feels pressured by the property owner to leave.

Because comedians don't already have a reputation as a bunch of Godless atheists, the club has complained to the property manager, who has given the church a move-out date. While the church has attempted to tone down their volume, catching some videos of the sermons reveals that they are in fact really, really loud.

Since the bible says, "Do unto others as badly as they do unto you," the church has been protesting the club on Saturday nights calling it a Jokes Against Jesus march.

Thomas said the church has invested more than $15,000 into its current location and can't afford to move. He said he's hopeful the march will be the first step to finding a solution.

I hope they can work it out, and God doesn't resort to locusts and raining frogs to settle matters.

[via Punchline]

After the jump, a video of a local news report of the story.

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File this news under W for wacky (because of how you guys file all the blog stories you read in a big ol' file cabinet). A drunk, high person imitated something they saw in a 90's comedy and now is in trouble! Only in New York Nova Scotia!

In the case, the plaintiff sued after the defendant tried to impress his golfing buddies during a bachelor party outing that included beer, tequila, and marijuana. On the 16th hole, under the influence, Travis Hayter whipped out his "Happy Gilmore shot," which the court defined in 2008 as "running from five to ten feet behind the ball and hitting it on the run."

The ball leapt up and struck the plaintiff in the wrist, then in the chest, causing permanent damage to the radial nerve. The plaintiff no longer was able to return to his former work as a woodsman on account of the incident.

Yikes! At least the woodsman's hand wasn't bitten off by an alligator.

I feel really bad for the woodsman, but you do have to ask yourself, what was he doing in a golf course? It's entirely possible he was trying to steal wood (sorry)! Maybe this drunk, high person is actually a drunk, high hero.

Besides, right before hitting the ball, he yelled, "Fore!" Of course, everybody just thought he was trailing off in the middle of yelling, "Four twenty, bro's!" (How many terrible puns am I going to make?)

"The defendant's behavior was not among the 'natural risks' of golfing to which the plaintiff can be said to have consented," ruled Judge Arthur J. LeBlanc.

I like to kid improv performers. I know they work very hard at their craft, and seeing great improv can be exciting and rewarding. But let's face facts here. When improv is bad, it's really fucking bad. Conversely, there's something I didn't know about improv before today, and it's that when improv is badass, it's really fucking badass.

If all the world’s a stage, then comedian Daniel Faneuf is in the running for best fight scene, having gotten the better of a mugger who held him at gunpoint – in real life, according to police and the comic himself…

Faneuf grabbed the assailant and reversed the gun toward his chest, according to Faneuf, who believes his improv training is largely responsible for his quick action under duress.

Talk about following the fear. Del Close? More like Del Clothesline In the Neck.

The weapon turned out to be a pellet gun, but Faneuf didn't know that at the time. The mugger probably didn't even need a gun. If his object work had been up to par, Faneuf would have yes-and'ed it anyway (all the improv nerds get these references, right?)

Just to give you some insight into this Daniel Faneuf character, I looked up his Improv Asylum bio page. Here's what it says about him:

Daniel is very proud and excited to begin his second revue with the Main Stage. Daniel comes from Improv Asylum’s NXT cast, Improv Asylum’s Touring Company and the infamous cast of Suffolk University’s Improv Comedy Troupe “Seriously Bent.” Enjoy the show.

Nowhere on there do they mention his ability to pistol whip bitches upside the head…

“Eventually I have the barrel of the gun in one hand, and I’m holding him down with my other hand,” Faneuf said, adding that he resorted to pistol-whipping the still-resistant mugger – until the gun shattered into pieces on the ground.

The interesting thing about this story is that this is the first time improv has been used to fight back a mugger. Before this point, the technique had only been used to fight back audiences. ZING! Please don't beat me up!

According to the New York Times, there's a new little comedy haven slowly being established in the neighborhood of Astoria.

An unlikely ecosystem has developed in the northwest corner of Queens. Just as there are some creatures that flourish at certain warm depths of a coral reef but not a foot deeper where the water is colder, a thriving hive of comedians has affixed itself to Astoria, perfectly suited to the particular microclimate there.

Get it? Because comedians are like bottom-feeders.

“It’s cool to live in Brooklyn, but comics aren’t the cool kids,” Mr. [Grant] Gordon said, standing outside the Neptune Diner on Astoria Boulevard. “We just want somewhere cheap. I’ve never had a hip bar that I go to that has, like, indie music bands. I just do shows and go home.”

Fair enough. According the article, when asked to assemble as many stand-up comedians as he could, Dan Allen was able to get twenty-seven comedians together for a picture in just one day's notice. To be fair though, most comedians are unemployed and single, so how big an accomplishment was it really?

“My block is so quiet,” begins a joke that Moody McCarthy has added to his routine, “if there’s any yelling at night that means Ecuador scored a goal."

LOL. With a name like Gonzalo Cordova, you probably thought I was from Kansas City, Kansas, but my family is actually from Ecuador, so I know what that is like. Growing up, I was always like, "Stop scoring goals Ecuador! A six-year-old needs his sleep, ya know?!"

The New York Times linked to two comedy videos shot in Astoria. I've embedded the videos after the jump.

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I really don't understand most celebrities when it comes to Roman Polanski. I will say though, I think Whoopi Goldberg coined the cutest phrase with "rape-rape." The meaning is obviously horrible, but if it weren't for the word's awful connotations, that would be a really cute Wii accessory or something. Anyway, it's nice to hear Chris Rock is one of the few sensible people left in Hollywood.

Not to get too involved in this controversy, but if you're going to excuse Roman Polanski for making good movies, shouldn't we put him in jail for The Ninth Gate and Pirates?

In the monologue for the September 23 episode of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, Conan made a crack about Newark, New Jersey, and now Newark Mayor Cory Booker has placed Conan on the Newark Liberty International Airport no-fly list. Other people placed in the no-fly list for making fun of Newark, New Jersey? Everyone who has ever lived ever.

Mayor Booker should place that angry Newark resident in the Newark Regional Theater no-act list.

Yesterday I made fun of Michigan. Today, in solidarity with Conan O'Brien, I am going to attempt some Newark jokes.

1. In 1996, TIME Magazine called Newark the most dangerous city in the nation. While most citizens at the time were upset by the ranking, it was nothing compared to the ranking given to them a few years later by SMELL Magazine.
2. After banning Conan from Newark International Airport, Mayor Cory Booker considered banning Conan from Newark's biggest landmark as well but decided it was unnecessary upon realizing the biggest landmark was actually just Newark International Airport.
3. Newark is famous for its industry. In fact, most residents of the Tri-State area are very familiar with its two biggest exports: pollution and assholes.

After the jump, video of the actual joke in question.
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