Comedy Central Insider Blog

From Indecision…

All comically histrionic things must end, and the National Teabagging Convention is no exception. This past weekend saw the dramatic conclusion to the politically-right-of-right-of-right's first ever national gathering, and as the rest of the world struggles to make sense of the writing on the wall (and the hand), let us honor the noble patriots who attended and contributed their guttural yelps to the national conversation with this collection of Stephen Colbert's best Tea Party moments…

Tax Atax

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

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From Indecision…

Like a horde of insatiably voracious crown-of-thorns starfish extruding their stomachs onto a patch of coral reef and leaving in their wake only brittle dessication, Washington lobbyists are pulling their digestive organs up off the dry and empty husk of the once lush and vibrant promise of health care reform andmoving on to Barack Obama's plan to overhaul student loans*…

President Obama called the idea a "no-brainer" last fall, predicting it would take billions of dollars from the profits of private lenders and give it directly to students, and many colleges were already moving to get loans directly from the federal government in anticipation of the next move by Congress.

But an aggressive lobbying campaign by the nation's biggest student lenders has now put one of the White House's signature plans in peril, with lenders using sit-downs with lawmakers, town-hall-style meetings and petition drives to plead their case and stay in business.

I saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel about this. What Obama needs to do is get a whole shit ton of hungry harlequin shrimp and predatory snails and drop them onto K Street.

But he needs to do it fast, because those lobbyists will breed.

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^{* Did you like that? Please have liked it. I spent, like, twenty minutes writing just that one paragraph.}

From Indecision…

And that's when you read this thing…

Despite having served for years as a distinguished Pakistani diplomat, Akbar Zeb reportedly cannot receive accreditation as Pakistan's ambassador to Saudi Arabia.

The reason, apparently, has nothing to do with his credentials, and everything to do with his name — which, in Arabic, translates to "biggest dick"…

Looks like the current ambassador, Monstrous Vagina, will have to remain in place for at least a little while longer. (Which is a shame because, diplomatically speaking, he really kind of stinks.)

This guy shouldn't feel too bad, though. These diplomacy jobs are so political. In the end, they have very little to do with genuine merit and so much more to do with who has the akbar zeb.

From Indecision…

Here's a riddle. What's conceived in sin; takes nine months to complete; and makes for some sticky situations upon its unwelcomed arrival? That's right, a completely convoluted Indecision article that lists famous illegitimate political offspring while simultaneously promoting the season premiere of The Sarah Silverman Program, entitled "The Proof Is in the Penis." Oh, exceptIndecision didn't give me nine months to write this. More like five days. And I guess I didn't really conceive it in sin, although between you and me, my silk boxers do feel pretty sweet beneath my blogging pants.

Now before you go complaining about who I left off, keep in mind that I was looking not only for political progeny born to unmarried parents, but also people who — when organized in list form — would make you, the reader, want to tune in for Sarah Silverman's season premiere, "The Proof Is in the Penis" this Thursday at 10:30pm / 9:30c. Did I accomplish this? Hey, who's wearing the blogging pants around here. Spoiler alert: Not me as of twenty seconds ago.

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27. John Edwards' daughter Frances Quinn Hunter

When John Edwards burst on the National political scene in 2000, he was like nothing we'd ever seen. The guy just didn't lie like a politician. Unfortunately, he lied a lot like a trial lawyer. And in 2008, we learned that John Edwards could lie like other things too.

For example, like that guy your mom called your "uncle" when your dad was away on business trips. In any event, Edwards' affair with Rielle Hunter came to light in 2008, and while he admitted his wrongdoing, he was also adamant that Ms. Hunter's baby girl was not his. Turns out that was also a lie.

Fast-forward to 2010 and now Edwards has admitted that Frances Quinn is his daughter. This might be the first time a two-year-old's first sentence has been, "No, dude. Seriously. It's O.K."

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From Indecision…

As you may have heard, President Obama recently held a lunch conference where he fielded questions from Congressional Republicans. The event was televised and many have considered it to be a brilliant move on the President's part. It seems to have helped make progress with the GOP too. Instead of the party of "No," they've agreed to become the party of "Nah."

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

From Indecision…

Don't ever accuse me of promising something I'm not prepared to deliver.

That's more than I can say for certain skateboarding shark-jumpers I know.

(via The Whoa!)

Last night's Daily Show was devoted entirely to the State of the Union, including the GOP response and the media coverage. And if you saw the SOTU, you know it was a much-needed reminder in these difficult times, that despite our many differences, we Americans have in us the ability to unite behind the common goal of laughing at the boobs in Washington and the boners on cable news. Just as the founders intended.

The Daily Show's coverage of the SOTU continues below. And you can see The Colbert Report's take here.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

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From Indecision…

Hey, look, this is kind of nice. It's Bill Clinton and George W. Bush — two of the Top 100 best U.S. Presidents of all time! — putting aside their ideological differences and recreational addictions to take a few moments and say something or other about Haiti…

Not bad, and mercifully short.

Still, though, I prefer their Borscht Belt comedy routine version of the PSA…

Awesome! These guys are going somewhere. I can feel it!

…has an oddly greenish hue to it.

(via Indecision)

From Indecision…

Well, if nothing else — and that might just prove to be the case — Barack Obama can rest soundly knowing that his legacy will at least include minced sheep entrails…

At last, real change we can believe in: the Obama administration is lifting the pernicious ban on haggis that for more than 20 years has deprived Americans the chance to munch the great chieftain o' the pudden-race…

So here at least Obama has achieved something that neither his predecessor nor Bill Clinton had the courage to take on.

Say what you will about this oft-maligned bit of Scottish cuisine, but I can actually imagine myself watching haggis being made without throwing up. And that's more than I can say for health care reform.

In other news: America had a 20 year ban on haggis? (Oddly, in all that time, this never came up once for me.)